Teenager Issue

Gynecomastia And Teens

2009-10-22T10:38:00.000+08:00

Overall, two types of men a boob known as Gynecomastia and Pseudogynecomastia is affecting some teens today. Whether you are a teen or an adult male, it can be embarrassing as people stare at your like you are some sort of a freak. Gynecomastia sometimes occurs from at the puberty stage and ceases, yet some of the older generation develop man boobs later.

Gynecomastia, when it develops in teens is not necessary related to obesity. After a few years, man boobs often disappear. Teens need to watch their weight very closely to prevent body fat from building up more to help them take control of man boobs.

Experts are not clear on the causes of gynecomastia, yet some indicators from study has shown some proof that the cause could possibly be from imbalances of sex hormones, or else too much estrogen build up. Depending on how the breast tissue responds to the hormones themselves. The appearance resulting from Gynecomastia has an extra tissue and fat around the breastbone. In men, it appears as double chest fat or puffy nipples.

Science has figured that possibly the hormones produced more estrogen and less testosterone. Chronic kidney, liver, and HIV diseases along with some others could be a cause for enlarged breast also. Steroids, food supplements, cancer treatments, spinal cord injury, and marijuana are known to increase estrogen levels.

When man boobs appear it doesn’t necessary cause physical harm, yet the condition may cause soreness around the breast area and tenderness about the nipples. The condition can be treated with certain medications to control the symptoms.

Don’t try to treat Gynecomastia on your own. See your doctor if you think you have gynecomastia. Let your doctor do his job because some medications are known to be the cause and there are some for treating them. For example, radiation treatment for prostate cancer is known for causing enlarge breast.

Surgery is usually recommended as treatment of Gynecomastia. Beware that many insurance companies will not pay for this procedure because it is considered cosmetic surgery.
Exercise is not the answer to decreasing enlarged breast tissue in some cases. More and more men are finding that it is a lost cause to exercise for decreasing this tissue. Therefore, sometimes gynecomastia surgery is the only answer.

The second type of Gynecomastia is the Pseudogynecomastia, known as the fake Gynecomastia.

Pseudogynecomastia is chest fat around the breastbone. Chest fat can be decreased with exercise on a regular basis. When you begin an exercise program; don’t stop after a few days.
In order to see sufficient results a person needs to continue the program as an on going way of life.

When exercising to reduce chest fat plan 4 days a week to exercise. On two of these days, you should work with a low intensity program. Walking and biking are a couple good ways to work out on these days. Plan at least two days to enjoy light resistance workouts, such as weights lifting or resistance machines. Seek support to encourage you with your new program. Having a partner will motivate and give you support to help you stick with your plan to reduce man boobs.

Setting goals for your new program is a great way to keep up your motivation. Make your goals short and long term to keep your goals current at all times. With goals, you’ll be able to see progress as each one is reached.

You’ll find that with goals, an exercise program to lose chest fat will help you sleep better, and your diet will improve to help you lose weight. Teenagers often find it difficult to stick with a plan, but if you are dealing with gynecomastia and teens issue then you must set goals and adhere to a plan.

Love Yourself Just The Way You Are

2009-10-14T17:01:00.002+08:00

The key to being your most beautiful self is learning how to accentuate your natural attributes so that the real you can shine through. Here are three things that you can do to love yourself just the way you are.

1. Be Confident. Projecting an attitude of confidence (not conceit) makes you more alluring and appealing. People will want to get to know you, because you'll come off as a girl who's comfortable in her own skin and who's fun to be around. Even if you feel a bit nervous, do your best to project a positive and upbeat attitude. What will happen eventually is even if you're a bit insecure, by making it a habit to think and act more confidently, in time your inner attitude will catch up with your outer persona.

2. Be Your Own Cheerleader. It's great to have people in your life who lift you up and cheer you on. But, sometimes things won't work out that way and you'll have to become your own cheerleader. How? Talk to yourself as if you were coaching a star athlete. If you were coaching a star athlete, you would not talk down to her nor would you allow negative comments to enter her space. It's sounds corny, but this tip is known to work.

3. Get Physical. Girls who participate in some form of physical activity tend to feel more confident and in control than those who do not. It's not about losing weight or burning yourself out. It's about getting your body moving so that you'll have more energy and drive, not to mention you'll probably meet new friends as well.

4. Make Up Your Mind To Be Productive, No Matter What. Seriously. You've got to decide that no matter what happens in life, how many challenges you face and how you feel on any given day that you are going to be productive. This entails: making your education your #1 priority, setting goals that will get you where you want to go and having positive values that shape the decisions you make.

5. Give The Drama A Break. Everybody thrives off of a little drama, every now and then. But if your life is one big dramatic episode, it might be well worth the effort to drop some of the drama in your life. This includes: boyfriend drama, the drama you give to your parents and the drama that comes with blowing every little thing way out of proportion. If you've be known to put the Capital D in Drama Queen, perhaps it may be time to drop the drama...at least some of it.

6. If Your Life Is Dull or Boring Do Something About It. The quickest way to get a life is to find things that you enjoy doing and develop your interests. If you've always wanted to try your hand at acting, sign up for the drama club at your school. If there's a hidden poet living inside of you, go recite your poetry at an open mike event. Or, publish your own poetry blog. If you've got an opinion that you want to share, comment on other people's blogs. You can comment on this one, if you've got some additional tips to add on how to become the director and producer of your life. The lesson here is, your life does not have to be dull or boring if you find out what interests you. Then, develop your interests.

Coping with a Jealous Friend

2009-10-13T12:08:00.000+08:00

You know how wonderful you are, and you know that others know how wonderful you are, but what do you do when admiration crosses over the line into jealousy? For most teens there will come a day when you realize that one of your friends is jealous – whether it be of who you are, what you’ve done or something you have – and that this jealousy is hurting your friendship. When this happens it can seem like there is nothing that you can do, but the good news is that there is. Don’t let jealousy spoil your relationships. Tackle it head on and you might be back to normal much sooner than you think.

Confront Your Friend

It can be hard to walk up to a friend and ask them what the problem is, but if you want to save your friendship you’ll have to do just that. Don’t approach them and ask why they are jealous of you (unless of course you want to appear totally conceited), just take some time alone with them and let them know that you’ve been feeling like there’s something been coming between you. If they refuse to respond, then use the opportunity to explain how you have been feeling. Chances are that something you say will strike a nerve and your friend will open up as well.

Hammer Out a Solution

When you figure out what is irking your friend, ask him or her what (s)he thinks would make the situation better. If, for example, (s)he say that (s)he feels like (s)he doesn’t get to spend any time with you because your off with your new friends from the swim team then maybe you could invite her along the next time or block off one day a week for just the two of you. Remember, though, that whatever solution you decide on should be a compromise. Don’t limit your own talents or opportunities simply because your friend is unhappy. Try instead to include him or her in your new life and see how that works out.

Practice Your Patience

Even if you do get to the bottom of your friend’s jealousy you’ll likely need to remain patient while (s)he works out his or her own emotions. Even if you can think of a compromise to help get your friendship back on track you can’t do the emotional work of getting over jealousy for your friend. There may be pot-holes in the road up ahead, and you may need to chat with your friend again. If you do, remember to stay calm and ask what is wrong. If it turns out to be the same issue, tell your friend that you feel you have been sticking to the compromise. It may be that your friend is unable to see that, or (s)he didn’t really commit to the compromise and wanted you back all to him or herself. If this is the case then there’s not much you can do about it besides reiterate your offer to meet him or her half-way.

Even the best of friendships can be tinged by jealousy. This destructive emotion is rarely productive and can turn best friends into worst enemies. Before taking drastic action, chat with your jealous friend to see if the two of you can work out a compromise. If you can’t, be prepared to know exactly how far you will go to keep your friend – and how far you won’t.

Weight Loss Diet Plans For Fat Teenage Boys

2009-10-12T09:54:00.001+08:00

If you have ever been looking for diet plans for obese,fat,overweight teenage boys, then you are in luck. Many teenage boys are overweight, even some of the more active ones. From soccer players to basketball,from football players to baseball players, overweight teenage boys can be found doing all sorts of different things. It does not matter what race they are or what types of activities they do or what all they eat for supper. Overweight teenage boys can be found from all walks of life.

Many have a stereotypical idea that all overweight teenage boys indulge in video games for hours upon end and simply do not get the proper exercise that is required in order to help maintain a healthy body weight. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. Even in teenage
boys that participate in active sports, some will find themselves still being overweight. Whether they play tennis, golf, baseball, or chess, these overweight teenage boys are found in each and every niche.

Finding the right diet plans for fat ,overweight teenage boys can be extremely difficult. Even if you find the right exercise plan for the particular teenager, it might simply not be enough. One might try to resort to other methods, such as diet pills, but this is not always the best way to go. Sometimes the answer can be much simpler than to resort to buying diet pills. Sometimes, the answer is as simple as taking a combination of actions in order to help that teenager lose weight.

The first step is to ensure that the teenager is on a good, healthy diet. Remember that teenagers are always growing, and so they need more energy than you might think. This can make it hard to determine just how much is too much, but with time and patience, and a little
luck, you can usually determine what is just right for your specific teenager. Not only should you pay attention to how much is in the diet, but you must also pay attention to what is in the diet. Growing teenagers need a wide variety of nutrients. Vitamin and other weight loss supplements can help to ensure that your teenager is getting all of the vitamins and nutrients he needs, though you cannot depend entirely on them.

After having determined the right diet for your teenager, try to get him on an exercise plan that helps to ensure that he is active. If he is already involved in active sports, then this, combined with his new healthy diet, should help to ensure that your teenager begins to lose weight. It can be truly amazing how much of a difference dieting and exercise when combined can make in a teenage boy’s life, or in the lives of others. He will have more energy and be more confident in himself and his abilities. Diet plans for fat,overweight teenage boys can be the perfect way to motivate your teenager and help him feel good about himself.

Your teen and education

2009-10-08T12:22:00.001+08:00

How can we encourage our teens at school without putting them under too much pressure?

Teens are sometimes under a lot of pressure to perform well at school, and this can lead to anxiety and tension.

That's the bad news. The good news is that young people, on the whole, are getting better results year on year.

Year ten (ages 14-15) is seen by many as a watershed. If your teen gets through this year and is still motivated, enthusiastic and working well, she's more than likely to continue doing well.

For others, this is when difficulties and problems emerge.

Switching off

Some teenagers go off specific subjects; others go off school generally. If your child's struggling, you'll need to know exactly what it is she's struggling with.

If the trouble is with specific subjects, it may be she's fallen out with the teacher, is having difficulties with a part of the curriculum, or is just feeling she just can't do it.

Your teen may need help (if you know the subject, that's great; if you don't, there are lots of books available to help you get up to speed), or simply some encouragement.

How to help

If you get on well with your child, talk a lot and still enjoy each other's company, most problems will be relatively easy to overcome.

If, on the other hand, you can't discuss anything contentious without it turning into an argument, you might not be the best person to tackle the problem. Ask for help from someone your child likes and trusts, such as a teacher, relative or neighbour.

This is no time for pride, guilt or torture - the quicker the problem's resolved, the sooner your teenager can get back to her studies and you can stop worrying.

Teenagers who reject school

There are three main reasons why children skip school:

Something's going on, such as bullying, that makes them reluctant to attend
They're not coping with their subjects or they're not being stretched enough
Emotional worries make school seem irrelevant

It's vital to establish the cause and take steps to resolve it before your teen's future is seriously affected.

Exclusion and expulsion

Schools have the right to exclude a young person who's been in serious trouble. In most cases this is for a fixed period, such as three or five days.

The school must always phone parents, then follow up with a letter if a child is to be excluded. Letters should also be sent to the local education authority to explain why the school has enforced the exclusion.

Remember these points:

Parents have the right to appeal to the head teacher and governors if they don't think exclusion is fair.
A temporarily excluded child isn't allowed on the school premises and should be given school work to do at home.
Permanent exclusion - expulsion - is a last resort and is likely to follow a number of fixed exclusions. A discipline committee should meet to discuss the decision. If it agrees to the permanent exclusion, you have 15 days in which to appeal.

Exclusion from school is obviously very serious. Once a teenager is excluded she's more likely to get into further trouble, and this can be difficult to deal with.

Extracurricular Activities Can Help Your Teen Prepare for the Real World

2009-10-07T21:53:00.001+08:00

Involvement in academic and athletic extracurricular activities is a big part of your teen's highschool years. It gives them a chance to express them selves by participating in one of the various programs the school or your community offers. It's true that this is an excellent way to help teens make friends with like minded peers while learning valuable social skills. However, the benefits don't stop when they walk across the stage and receive their diploma. Many students will go on to enter the work place or further their education. It is on these places that the skills they learn will give them the edge they need to make their way in an adult world.

Team Work: One of the biggest things employers look for in job candidates is their willingness to work as a team. Team work is often emphasized in college and universities classrooms where professors know and therefore teach it's importance in the real world. What can prepare your son or daughter more about team work than actually being part of a team. Being part of a team helps them hone the skills necessary to interact with their peers in a respectful manner.
Goals: As a member of a sports team or club, your child will be responsible for meeting individual or group goals. For this reason, extracurricular activities is an excellent way to help your teen learn the fundamentals of goal building, something that is necessary in the work place. Goals help the individual keep site of where they are and where they would like to be.
Responsibilities: As an active member of a team or club, individuals are held responsible for things like attendance and participation. When a member doesn't respect their responsibilities they will face consequences much like an adult would in the work place. Failure to be responsible can get you benched or suspended from team activities and in the workplace it could get you fired. Students who learn to take their responsibility seriously will carry that into their careers.
Respect for Rules: Sure you may have rules that your son or daughter must follow but it's the outside world that really teaches them the importance of following rules. Rules, much like responsibilities, can make or break a persons career. When rules are not followed on the field it will result in penalties that will effect their play. Likewise, rules in the work place must be followed to make sure the weeks end bring a pay check and not a pink slip.
Conflict Resolution: When two or more people work together for a common purpose there are bound to be conflicts. Since each individual sees the world through their own eyes, not everyone will approach problems the same way. This is very true when it comes to extracurricular activities. While one student may feel a particular play is the best option, another student may believe there is a better way to reach the goal. Ultimately, for the team or club to succeed there will have to be a conflict resolution. This is a very important part of work place success and therefore learning it early on can save your teen from problems in the future.
Resume Building: Whether it's their college application or a job resume, extracurricular activities along with academic performance will put your teen at an advantage. To employers involvement in these shows the individual was able to balance work and play. In other words, they were able to take on various projects at the same time, something that is very important in the work force.

Extracurricular Activities Can Help Your Teen Prepare for the Real World

2009-10-07T21:53:00.000+08:00

Team Work: One of the biggest things employers look for in job candidates is their willingness to work as a team. Team work is often emphasized in college and universities classrooms where professors know and therefore teach it's importance in the real world. What can prepare your son or daughter more about team work than actually being part of a team. Being part of a team helps them hone the skills necessary to interact with their peers in a respectful manner.
Goals: As a member of a sports team or club, your child will be responsible for meeting individual or group goals. For this reason, extracurricular activities is an excellent way to help your teen learn the fundamentals of goal building, something that is necessary in the work place. Goals help the individual keep site of where they are and where they would like to be.
Responsibilities: As an active member of a team or club, individuals are held responsible for things like attendance and participation. When a member doesn't respect their responsibilities they will face consequences much like an adult would in the work place. Failure to be responsible can get you benched or suspended from team activities and in the workplace it could get you fired. Students who learn to take their responsibility seriously will carry that into their careers.
Respect for Rules: Sure you may have rules that your son or daughter must follow but it's the outside world that really teaches them the importance of following rules. Rules, much like responsibilities, can make or break a persons career. When rules are not followed on the field it will result in penalties that will effect their play. Likewise, rules in the work place must be followed to make sure the weeks end bring a pay check and not a pink slip.
Conflict Resolution: When two or more people work together for a common purpose there are bound to be conflicts. Since each individual sees the world through their own eyes, not everyone will approach problems the same way. This is very true when it comes to extracurricular activities. While one student may feel a particular play is the best option, another student may believe there is a better way to reach the goal. Ultimately, for the team or club to succeed there will have to be a conflict resolution. This is a very important part of work place success and therefore learning it early on can save your teen from problems in the future.
Resume Building: Whether it's their college application or a job resume, extracurricular activities along with academic performance will put your teen at an advantage. To employers involvement in these shows the individual was able to balance work and play. In other words, they were able to take on various projects at the same time, something that is very important in the work force.

What should parents do if they find out their child is using drugs?

2009-10-06T09:12:00.002+08:00

Using drugs is a serious problem and using drugs is not the same as being addicted to drugs. In most cases addiction happens over time and after regular use. Some teens may get addicted faster than others Using any illegal drugs (sometimes called 'designer' drugs) is risky and should be avoided. There is no way of knowing what they actually contain. They may have very dangerous chemicals that can cause damage to the brain or even death and this can happen at first use and before addiction starts.


•	Don't react immediately! Give yourself time to calm down if you are upset, and to think through what is happening. Strong reactions due to fear are common but they don't help. Don't ridicule or lecture. Getting angry can close the door on communication and may harm your relationship with your teenager.

•	Don't regard this situation as a family disgrace. Recovery is possible just as it is with other illnesses.

•	Try to get a picture of what is happening in your child's life. Give your teenager a chance to tell you what happened, for example, 'We'd like you to give us an idea what was going on in your life.'

•	Find out what kinds of drugs are being used and how they are being used. The best way to find out is to ask your teenager. Discuss with him what he considers to be the benefits and consequences of using drugs. Is he clearly aware of what is likely to happen if he uses drugs, such as the effect on his family relationships, education, and future chances of getting work?

•	If your teenager is apprehended give him moral support but let him see that it is his responsibility. Let him deal with the consequences of his behavior, including picking up the bill, making arrangements, keeping appointments etc.

•	Separate the behavior from the person. You may not approve of what your teenager is doing but you still need to show your love and care.

•	It is important to tell your teenager that you are concerned about his wellbeing and that you will be seeking substance abuse treatment for him.

•	During recovery, encourage teens to engage in after-school activities with adult supervision. If they cannot participate in sports or other extracurricular school activities, part-time employment or volunteer work can build self-esteem.

•	Don't expect an immediate, 100-percent recovery. Like any illness, there is a period of convalescence with a brain disorder. There may be relapses and times of tension and resentment among family members.

•	Do offer love, support, and understanding during treatment and recovery.

BALANCING YOUR VALUES AND YOUR WORDS AS YOU TALK TO YOUR TEEN
•	Your teenager probably knows, but remind him what your values are and what you will allow in your house. This can be a tricky issue and will depend on how old your teenager is.

•	With older teenagers you may have to come to terms with the fact that they are making their own life choices. However, if they won't give up the drug you still have the right to say that they are not to use it at home.

•	Some parents tell their teenagers to give it up or they will have to leave home. If you say this, you need to be sure that it is what you really want and that you mean what you say. By saying this you may be pushing your teenager into a more risky situation.

How to Properly Prevent Teenage Substance Abuse

2009-10-05T22:35:00.000+08:00

It is essential that parents and other individuals that work directly with teenagers know and understand how to properly prevent teenage substance abuse. Abuse of various types of substances such as alcohol, tobacco, marijuana, prescription medications, stimulants, and even certain over-the-counter drugs is quite prevalent among the teenagers of today.

A study conducted on teens to the age of seventeen was conducted and it was found that over one million individuals in this age group have some type of dependence on substances, and another million are said to have an inclination towards addiction involving alcohol. These statistics are staggering! In this guide, you will learn how to properly prevent teenage substance abuse.

1. If you are an adult that is dedicated to the pursuit of learning how to properly prevent teenage substance abuse, it is important to know that the first step to assisting our youth is to learn the symptoms that may indicate that an issue is occurring. There are numerous signs of potential drug and alcohol abuse.

These signs may include social isolation, personality changes, a loss of interest in activities and people that once drew the attention of the teenager, weight loss, a drop in grades, and several other symptoms. You may research these symptoms online, check out books at your local library, purchase books from your local bookstore, and even consult a medical professional that works with youth that suffer from a dependency to various types of substances.

2. The next way to properly prevent teenage substance abuse is to learn as much as you possibly can about the various types of substances that teens find attractive. You should research alcohol, amphetamines, cocaine, crack, crystal meth, and various other types of drugs. You should learn the symptoms associated with each and other vitally important information. By learning about the drugs available today, you can potentially stop an issue that your teen may experience before it becomes an addiction.

3. It is important to take steps in your home that will deter substance abuse. Many teens find over-the-counter cough and cold medications, as well as prescription medications very appealing. They believe since the medications are legal that they do not pose a threat to their health. You can prevent the abuse of medications by keeping any and all that you have in the home locked up.

4. The next step to successfully preventing teenage substance abuse is to ensure that you educate the teenager in your life. They should be taught about the drugs on the street and in the home, and be informed of the mental and physiological dangers that may occur as a result of taking the substances in a recreational manner.

You should set clear guidelines and expectations with the teenager so that they know and completely understand that indulging in recreational drug activity is restricted, and that if it is indulged in, corrective action will be put into place. You could mention limiting their freedom, restricting their dating, or even integrating the use of a drug rehabilitation facility.

5. If you feel as if a teenager is already indulging in recreational drug use, you should seek medical assistance immediately. This is a successful strategy to decrease the possibility that teenage substance abuse will continue. This may be a difficult step, but it is a productive step.

There are many steps to properly preventing teenage substance abuse. If you follow the steps listed here, you will likely deter the teenager in your life from beginning the dangerous cycle of substance abuse.

Are Parents Afraid to Discipline Children?

2009-10-04T00:00:00.000+08:00

We’ve come a long way from the days of “kids will be kids” or perhaps it would be more accurate to say we’ve come a long way since the days when parents were parents. There is an increasing amount of children who are ruling the roost these days. The most frightening aspect of these domineering children is their age. We’re not talking teens or even tweens. Some of these kids are barely of school age. These tiny terrors are wrecking havoc. The question is why are the parents rejecting discipline in favor of outright defiance?

It is a sad state to see parents begging children to behave. Some children are even physically striking back at their parents. Even if parents are willing to tolerate certain unacceptable behavior this is where they need to draw the line. Why are parents refusing to act like parents? In an age where expectant parents read tons of books about parenting and even attend parenting classes they still lack parenting skills. It seems like the more they strive to be better parents the more they come up lacking.

Parenting includes taking on the role of disciplinarian. More parents need to realize that. Disciplining your children doesn’t mean you don’t love them. In fact, it is just the opposite. You love your child but you must realize that children need discipline. Children can’t be allowed to run wild without any guidance. Children need to be disciplined for their own protection. If a child is allowed to play with matches, lighters or around a hot stove the chances are that he’s going to get burnt. If a child is not disciplined for hitting other children the other children may start to hit him back. If a child goes around kicking the family dog eventually the dog may bite him. Children have to be taught that behavior such as this is unacceptable.

Parents often add to behavior problems in children. I’ve heard parents make comments that are completely wrong in situations such as those mentioned above. “Look, he’s no wimp. He knows how to handle himself already,” was the comment one father made when his three-year-old son walked up and pushed another child to the ground for no reason whatsoever. “Isn’t that cute? He’s only two and already he’s got the dog listening to him,” is the comment one mother made when her toddler kicked the dog and then slapped it on the head even though the dog was lying down and not bothering anyone. Actions such as these are not cute nor should they be tolerated let alone encouraged. Maybe the parents themselves need some discipline since their way of thinking seems to be rather juvenile.

Discipline is a necessary part of effective parenting. Parents often feel that their child won’t love them if they discipline the child. But what they don’t realize is that discipline is a form of love. You discipline your child because you love him. Disciplining your child shows that you care. Of course, children don’t see it that way but in time they will. We discipline our children because they are unaware of many dangers that the world holds. They are not yet able to discern the difference between good and bad. They have feelings and emotions that they do not understand and do not know how to express appropriately. It is important that we acknowledge their feelings but we also need to provide them with guidance to be able to properly channel their emotions.

Don’t be afraid to discipline your child. Discipline does not have to mean physical punishment. You can discipline your child by setting rules, providing guidance, letting your child know what is acceptable behavior and what is not.

Two Top Parenting Issues with Teenagers

2009-10-02T19:53:00.002+08:00

Not surprisingly, the bottom line issues for parents are very different than the bottom line issues for the teen.

For the parents, the bottom line issues look something like this:

They see the kid they raised from an infant changing right before their eyes, usually getting more and more out of control. Their concerns can run through a whole range of problems - from slipping grades, bad attitudes and little or no communication all the way to depression, running away or drugs.

The bottom line is that the parents are scared, and they want their nice kid back.

Raising teenagers can be like a day at an amusement park, lots of fun but also full of ups and downs, moments with floors dropping out, twisters, laughs, screams and all. But just as you plan your amusement park agenda, mapping out a basic plan, you can do the same with many top teen issues for the most positive experience possible.

Self-Esteem & Fitting In

The teenage years are a time of internal and external growth, where teens face mixed emotions daily and bodily growth differently in nearly each individual. And a major concern among teenagers is their self-esteem; i.e. focusing on how much they feel accepted, valued and loved by others in light of all this transitional phase in their lives.

You can help by encouraging them to find things they are good at; different subjects in school, sports and other after school activities (chess, crafts, photography, etc.) Offer plenty of praise and go light on the criticism. And help them find plenty of helpful resources along the way; library books, school counselors, coaches, mentors, tutors, etc. Have your teen invite friends over often so you can meet them, too, and leave them to their game / tv room with plenty of snacks and music.

Growth (External / Internal) & Sex

Help your teens value their own appearance by offering compliments and praise for clothing choices, even if it’s simply in a t-shirts color choice. They want to experiment and wear clothing like their piers and like some adults, but do guide them in ethical and moral choices, leaving abusive language phrases off shirts, and making sure private body parts are covered.

As sexual maturity comes into play, also reflected in clothing style choices, make sure to acknowledge this stage and not run from it, especially with seductive clothing and late night outings. Take charge and remind your teen that while it’s great to want to be attractive, sex can and most often does lead to parenting and that’s a very serious issue. Make sure your teens understand your opinion on this area. And if you don’t have one yet, it may be time to get involved and take a stance. Life, lives could be at stake. So don’t leave this topic left hanging because you are uncomfortable. You may be much more uncomfortable if you do nothing.

Keep in mind, there are plenty more teenage issues for parents to deal with, some easy and some not so easy.

About Premarital Sexual Relationships Among Teens

2009-10-01T09:54:00.001+08:00

Teenage sexual activity is a major problem confronting the nation and has led to a rising incidence of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), emotional and psychological injuries, and out-of-wedlock childbearing thus teenage pregnancies and premarital sex occurrences alarm every sector in our society particularly the church and health institutions. Substantial studies had been conducted to support this scenario. A Young Adult Fertility Survey (Yafs) disclosed that males are more into pre-marital sex than females but over the years, young women are catching up with men. The survey covered 20,000 Filipino youths aged 15 to 24 years old across the country. According to the 2002 Young Adult Fertility and Sexuality Study by the University of the Philippines Population Institute (UPPI) and the Demographic Research and Development Foundation, 26 percent of our Filipino youth nationwide, from ages 15 to 25 years old, admitted to having a pre-marital sex experience. What's worse is that 38 percent of our youth are already in a live-in arrangement.

The sexual revolution has ushered in a period where the average adolescent faces tremendous pressures to have sexual experiences of all kinds. Today, Pinoy teens get a higher exposure to sex from the Internet, magazines, TV shows, movies, and other media than decades ago, yet without any corresponding increase in information on how to handle the input. So kids are pretty much left to other kids for opinions and value formation when it comes to sex. Sexual misinformation is, therefore, equally shared in the group. Parents at home and teachers in school feel equally inadequate or uneasy to discuss the topic of sex with youngsters. The problem mounts because the barkada has a more profound influence than parents do, exerts pressure and expects the adolescent to conform to the rest of the them.

In our society, having sex outside marriage or before marriage is not acceptable especially that we are a Christian country where the sanctity of marriage is considered sacred be it civil or church wedding. But still a lot of people, particularly the young ones, were tempted to commit this act, discrediting the belief that sex is only for married couple and virginity is the gift one can give to her husband on the night of their wedding.

"Girls have sex to be loved, while boys love to have sex". This romantic cliché is the most obviously sleazy yet devastatingly lines ever spoken. Men telling women that having sex is just their way of expressing their love, is about as threadbare saw a spider inviting a butterfly into her parlor; while women believe that having sex is their way of proving their love to a man. They gave all in the name of love to establish the truth of reality of their love. However, the question is: what if they are not meant to be? Later on, the women realize that the damage has been done. The guilt sets in and emotion like this has a great effect in their whole life.

The knowledge of pre-marital sex among the youth has been observed to be weak as shown by the increasing rate of unwanted pregnancies, case of abortions, use of contraceptives and the spread of sexually transmitted disease. Teens have the right to know more than the bare facts of menstruation menopause, pregnancies, etc. With the right information, the youth will be more cautious with their sexual activities.

Sexual intercourse in itself is neither morally evil nor good. It is the manner on which it was use that declares its morality. Like most things in life, it has to be done in the proper place, in the proper time and in the proper circumstances. Sexual intercourse should be practiced exclusively by those who are married (opposite sexes, of course) and should always be consensual, practiced in the spirit of love, and should always be in private. This is the only proper way of doing it.

The youth must wait for the right time before engaging in sexual acts, not because of the reason that it is an immoral practice but rather of the fact the risks involved such as abortion, unwanted pregnancy, getting the sexually transmitted diseases, etc. It has also ill effects on their mental, social and psychological being. Nevertheless whatever decision one will make, he/should be ready to face the consequences of their actions.

Unprotected sexual activity in adolescence brings with it the dangers of too early or unwanted pregnancy, induced abortion often in unsafe conditions, STDs, HIV infection and AIDS. In the 1994 YAFSS II, a great number of Filipino youth aged 15-24 had been actively engaged in sexual activity. About 1.8 M boys and 670,000 girls had sexual relations already. On the average, the first sex encounter happened at the age 18. The study also points to signs that girls were forced into sexual relations due to their inability to successfully negotiate refusal of sexual intercourse when not desired and are usually confronted with the threat of abandonment by the partner.

The presence of parents and parental supervision is a key factor that could regulate the spontaneity of sexual activity among young adolescents. Other factors associated with the adolescents early sexual experience are social interactions indexed by the frequency of going out with friends.

To enable adolescents and youth to cope with these challenging world, they should be provided with accurate information on their health concerns; make health services available and accessible to them; build their skills to enable them to deal effectively with the demands and challenges of everyday life and creates a safe and supportive environment that will nurture their growth and development. The influential adults such as parents, health service providers, teachers, legislators and people in the community should also have the skills to deal with adolescent issues and concerns.

To stay away from these harmful effects teenagers must maintain standards and understand their responsibilities. Teens today need to follow the law of chastity. Chastity is "a lifestyle that brings freedom, respect, peace, and even romance - without regret; Chastity frees a couple from the selfish attitudes of using each other as objects, and makes them capable of their love. Chastity is a very difficult lifestyle. Chastity means the successful integration of sexuality within the person and thus the inner unity of man in his bodily and spiritual being" (Catechism of the Catholic Church 2337). This comes to show that chastity needs to be practiced amongst our youth today. Teenagers are prone to premarital sex, and are especially influenced by the media's casual attitude toward it. Teenagers today are bombarded with the image of premarital sex through advertising. You can not watch cable television without seeing people kissing intimately, or even having sex . Premarital sex is suggested everywhere in our society, as seen on billboards, in movies, and in magazines. Perhaps, if teenagers had more confidence, they would not be prone to, and influenced by these artificial advertisements.

There is no better way for teenagers to protect themselves from all of the dangers surrounding sex except to leave sex for marriage. Sexuality in human beings was not designed to just be okay; it was designed to be extremely good! And it is great and wonderful when we use this special gift of God in the way He intended. Sadly, many people do not respect their sexuality as they should. Through immoral sexual behavior they belittle what God intended to be a very special experience.

Teen Themed Bedrooms

2009-09-30T09:49:00.000+08:00

Video Game Theme- This is more of a theme for guys rather than girls although there are some teen girls into video games. A state of the art video game bedroom would include a flat screen TV on the wall with an entertainment system that of course features a game console.

Retro Theme- Retro is a theme that is popular among teens these days. Retro goes back to the culture, music, clothes and hair style of the 1960's and 1970's. When designing a room in this theme, use bright colors such as red, orange and yellow. Also tie dye and shag carpets were popular in the retro era.

Family and Friends Theme- This is more of a popular room for girls. Add photos of friends and family to one wall in the room. You can add vacation photos, prom pics, graduation, homecoming and wedding that you attended.

Mixed Martial Arts- This is the perfect theme for a boy's room. Pin up posters of your favorite martial artist. For an added touch, you can add sparring gloves or hang a punching bag in the room so you can work out in your own bedroom.

Outdoors Theme- For the teen who just can't get enough of the outside, an outdoors theme is the perfect color scheme. Use wallpaper and/or borders to reflect your favorite outdoor scenes. You can choose themes from mountain climbing, underwater exploration, wooded scenes and seashore scenes. Using earth colors such as brown and green will help make the theme more complete.

Beach/Surfer Theme- Teens who love the beach in the summer or who can't stay off the surf board need to have a beach theme. But you don't just want to hang posters of your favorite surfer or pictures of the beach. You want a tropical theme going on such as palm trees and bamboo mats or hang a couple of surfboards as wall decorations.

City Theme- If you are into big cities such as New York Coty, Paris, London or France, then you need to have a big city theme bedroom. Decorate the room with souvenirs from the big cities or paint a mural of your favorite city skyline. If you want a more of a city feel, try a loft bed.

Travel Theme- If you dream of traveling or living in another country, then a travel theme is the perfect bedroom theme. Fill your room with globes, maps, travel posters, photos and souvenirs.

So if you are feeling adventurous, then try one or more of these themes.

Successful Teen Bedroom Design

2009-09-30T09:39:00.001+08:00

Teen bedroom design can be challenging but can also have it's rewards. Whether you have a girl or boy, teenagers are busy exploring their own way in the world. They are trying out different things and figuring out what works for them and what doesn't. They are also asserting their independence. What better way for them to do that than to take part in designing the room that they'll be spending a lot of time in as they complete their school years and prepare for what is ahead.

If you have a girl, chances are she's outgrown the pink or lavender colors that most likely graced her room as a young child. She's testing the waters and picking out what she likes. At this point, she probably does have a favorite color and this would be a good place to start. If you start with her favorite color and then look to the things that she's interested in when considering wall art or accessories for her room, this will bring the room together nicely. For example, if yellow is her favorite color and she's really interested in music, start with yellow paint for her walls. Choose a shade with her so that she feels she's a part of the process and that her opinion matters. When the room is painted, look for items to add to her walls that enhance her tastes. Perhaps a large musical note can be displayed on the wall or some wallpaper border with musical notes displayed throughout to line the tops of the walls.

Similarly, a boy should be given the same type of consideration as a girl when choosing the decor for his room. However, it may be a little more difficult to get him involved in the whole process, yet if you ask him to own the process by being a part of all of it; the painting and wallpapering, as well as the shopping and decorating, more willingness may evolve. Again, start with his favorite color, then take him with to choose the paint from the hardware store. When it comes time to paint his walls, ask him to help. Take him back to the store to choose the items that will be purely decorative. If he's into model boats or trains, ask him to build a few to later hang with fish line from his ceiling. Adding the feel of ownership over the project will help your young man jump in with two feet and you'll end with a room that you can both be happy about.

A blissful teenager may not result from these events, yet they won't be moody over their bedroom. It will be an area that they will enjoy being in and that will help when they need to concentrate on a school project or something along those lines. Best of all, they will have taken at least some part in the creation of the room, so they will be excited about it when it's done. Never pass up the chance to have a happy teenager, even when it means entering into a teen bedroom design project with them.

PARENTING TIPS TO IMPROVE VERBAL INTERACTION WITH KIDS

2009-09-28T16:23:00.000+08:00

To assist parents increase the level, and improve the quality, of their verbal interactions with their children, here are a few suggestions.

• Keep a paper and a pencil handy and make notes of the things you hear your children talking about or expressing interest in. When you hear them discussing to their friends or to one another, make note of the things they spoke about. The topics they bring up on their own and spend time talking about provide you with the best clues available about what is of interest to them.

• Talk to your children in a very natural way. Make sure it doesn’t come across as a formal discussion.
• Don’t try to be too “hip” as you talk to children. Avoid the use of terms and language the kids use. Use terms that are most familiar to you and the most characteristic of you, but which the kids understand. Kids don’t like it when their parents try to talk like kids.

• Watch for signs that tell you you’ve talked long enough. Ordinarily, conversations with children about “just things” don’t usually last very long. For that matter, kids don’t typically spend very long talking with their friends about such things. They bounce around from topic to topic, and thing to thing, never spending much time on anything or going into much depth

• Keep the conversation dignified. Avoid gossip, profanity, off-color jokes, or turns-of-phrase that compromise your adult level of dignity and civility. Remain a cut above “just one of the guys.” Children want their parents to have class. They want their parents to be someone to look up to. The quality of your conversations with them can go a long way in establishing that image of you in your children’s eyes. An occasional, appropriate joke is a very good thing. While the family is gathered around the dinner table is a wonderful time to share a good joke and bring a little humor into the family.

• Avoid ethnic jokes or any kind of joke or story that puts another person or another people down or that evokes humor at the expense of someone else. Maintain your dignity as an adult by showing respect for other cultures. Children really appreciate that.

• Regarding jokes, appropriate, clean humor is a characteristic of low-risk families. In such families there is a lot of smiling, laughing and lots of happy times. Come to the dinner table every night with a couple of good jokes.
Children who learn good verbal skills are more likely to also have good social skills.

What are your options while parenting teens?

2009-09-28T16:21:00.001+08:00

Whenever you ask a troubled teen as to what is their problem with their parent, more often than not you will get to hear that they are ‘not really being listened to’. Well, ‘listening’ is a tad difficult task for parents. They might also find ‘communication’ challenging. While parenting teens there are certain common measures that can ensure satisfactory results when intelligently applied.
Whenever your teen approaches you for a conversation or simply speaks to you provide them with your undivided attention. You don’t need to display your expertise in multi-tasking at that moment. Stop reading, watching TV or acting busy as you are listening to your child. Misbehavior starts the moment they begin to feel that they are not worthy of your attention.

As you listen, your attitude should be calm even if there is a major difference of opinion. Try to hear out with the intent of understanding the teenager’s point of view. If the situation calls for a ‘give and take’ approach, do not burden up your teen’s mind with preaches.

When you are parenting a troubled teen, your tone ought to be courteous as you communicate. Remember that respect inevitably cultivates respect and that is completely manifested in the manner of speech. While communicating you should keep in mind that you are communicating with an individual who happens to be your teenage child. Your positive approach will help to make the troubled teen to seek you out as his dear confidant. So a sober tone always pays dividends with an improved relationship while abruptness or gruffness will only induce further hostility.

As you try to make your communication effective, avoid judging the nature of your teen’s behavior at that moment. You may not approve it but at that moment emphasize more on the feelings involved. While parenting teens you surely need to be firm regarding the essential values but you should be flexible enough to accommodate the symbolism of the changing times.

Free expression of ideas and feelings should be permitted. Everything that happens to be our part of life is being gradually apprehended by the children during their teenage. This must be realized. While parenting teens you must also understand that the teens tend to ‘test’ their ideas regarding education, morality, money, time and marriage or relationships during communication. Even if you happen to be alarmed by their opinion, you should give them a patient hearing. Then the mutual love and respect that you have cultivated will help you to put your point in a non-aggressive and logical and plain manner.

What is the problem with the troubled teens?

2009-09-28T16:19:00.000+08:00

Teens misbehave in order to express their physical, social or emotional needs which are not being met. Unlike adults, the teens are not in a stable mental establishment. They are undergoing constant evolution both on the physical and the mental plane. With reference to the Gesell Chart, they are moving from one developmental stage to the other as they deal with the respective stressors of that particular stage. They misbehave so as to let the adults know that they require their attention.

The misbehavior further increases when the environment loses its predictability. When factors like food, sleep, emotional or the intellectual stimulation is either insufficient or over-sufficient, the trouble in the teen behavior gets expressed. If the adolescent happens to be individually dealing with a conflict, an unsafe or chaotic neighborhood, a loss in the family or academic challenges, he or she is more prone to react with a negative behavior. The situation is even worse in a poor family where the parents are not equipped with necessary resources to bail them out.

This calls for a bit of introspection on the part of the parents regarding the reason they apprehend as the cause of the misbehavior. It can be that the teen is confused, hungry, scared, angry, feeling unloved or uncomfortable. Take this common instance where the adolescent misbehaves specially during vacations. Here, basically the child is over stimulated and seeks a method to vent his energy out and is not finding any appropriate option. An earnest introspection would provide alternatives which will help the parent to eliminate the said behavior.

Perhaps the most common cause of misbehavior is the feeling of being overlooked. Every child has an aggressive desire to feel loved. Teens always tend to seek the assurance that they are an important part of their parent’s lives. This craving for love and attention in turn helps them to effectively develop their self-esteem. They feel equipped to face the world. Majority of the troubled teens are found to lack the fulfillment of this important aspect of their desire.

When a teen feels discouraged, it is due to this lack of love or attention. As growing adults they tend to fluctuate from their desired sources of attention. As a child, it is always the parents and as they grow up, they begin to expect it from peers and groups too. Then at different moments they again want to come back to their parents. This sense of belonging measure up their lack of self esteem and soothes their troubled minds to a great extent.

How would you deal with a troubled teen?

2009-09-28T16:18:00.000+08:00

Remember the old adage ‘Actions speak louder than words’? Well, it is perfectly applicable in this context. While parenting teens, the parent need to effectively monitor their influence or impact that has a direct correlation with their child.

Children always take cue for their behavior from what they actually see. We have a common habit of instructing our children to do something while following a different set of rules ourselves. And then if you blurt that ‘do as I say and not what I do’, it will have a negligible impact. If you promote such a practice, one day you shall surely get to hear something of this sort, ‘what is wrong if I smoke pot, my parents get stoned on alcohol every night’!

While dealing with a troubled teen, the parents need to supervise as they guide. When you find your teen misbehaving in spite of the responsibilities and the privileges that you have provided them with, you ought to understand that are unconsciously seeking directives to apprehend the limitations of their limitations and behavior. It is here that you are required to assure them with moderate and selective guidance. It is a delicate situation and your reasonable attitude will prevent an unfortunate breakdown of communication.

A troubled teen is already confused. So do not screw up the situation further by being ambivalent or partially expressive. Spell out through words and action regarding what is exactly expected of them. Encourage and appreciate their participation in the family’s decision making. This will help them in learning to realize and welcome responsibility and the necessity of accountability.

At the same time you are also required not to intrude your teen’s individuality and independence. Do not enforce your ideas, rather adopt the position of a watchful friendly bystander, who is always ready to offer help and advice but when required.
Another important aspect that one ought to remember while parenting that one should never over-react.

Parents often have this preconceived notion that their child’s adolescent period is an arduous struggle. They seem to brace up for an onslaught. This sort of attitude takes the ease out of the environment. A cool and calm attitude will not only make your child comfortable but also help you to assess their behavior with a more rational outlook. It will reduce the tendency of the parents to self-assert and draw effective trust and confidence from the teenager. This will of course ease up communication and a healthy parent-child relationship.

Be there when your child needs you

2009-09-28T16:00:00.000+08:00

Once you have confirmed that your child is a troubled teen, what is the next step you should take? It is important to accept the fact that you might not be able to help your child without professional help.

Try considering the following measures:
1. Consult your teenager’s doctor –The first measure is to get a physical check up done in order to detect if there are any physical problems connected to health. Get an appointment with the doctor immediately, without delay. Hormonal changes in the body may be the main reason for all problems. Thus consulting the doctor is utmost important.

2. Consult the guidance counselor at school – Though she might not be in a position to provide the child a one-on-one counseling service, she can be of great help by telling you about the attitude and the troubling behavior of the child that the teachers and the other staff members might have taken note of. This can be of great help in finding out the child’s moods and behavior when away from home.

3. Consult a professional counselor and look for proper counseling-If you don’t know whom to approach and whom to contact, consult your pediatrician or your school’s counselor to help in contacting and providing names of recommended counselors and psychiatrists.

4. Treatment and curing centers – The counselor, therapist or psychiatrist that you may consult may feel that your teenager is too troubled and her behavior is too troubling to treat as an outpatient. In such a situation you will have to commit your teen in a treatment centre for a time period suggested by the doctors and consultants in the centre.

5. Communicate – Communicating with your child may be very difficult at this phase of their life, you need to make an intensive and determined effort to keep the lines of communication open as much as possible. This will help them to converse without hesitation. You should encourage more time to be spending with family. Go out with them. Give them your time. Show that you care. Show them that you are there beside them to love and support them. Encourage them to invite their friends for lunch or dinner. Search for new hobbies that you and your child can enjoy together.

Professional help and good communication can help your teen in this phase of life. Being a parent, you need to understand your child and give them all the love, care and support.

Teenager Issues - Encountering Problems With Acne:

2009-09-27T00:42:00.001+08:00

As teenagers reach there age of maturity, the body seems to be the one which takes the most obvious blows. From lower (or higher) voices, to the annoying and often humiliating issue of acne, the period of puberty is sure to be more of an hindrance than that of a bodily miracle.

Probably the most intensely studied aspect of puberty is the commonly occurring phenomenon of acne - a skin condition which results in an oily, bumpy, and often pimple spotted face. At the same time as the fashion and appearance industries are imposing high standards and perfect smiles upon our most vulnerable teenagers - the very incidence of acne can be very harmful to levels of self esteem and confidence.

But that doesn't necessarily have to be the case for long. Indeed, as the beauty industry attempts to manufacture a product for almost any ill - acne has had a lot of money spent and attention paid to it over the years. Thankfully, as a result of this - it is now a possibility to decrease the incidence, and severity of acne when it first flares up, meaning that after an initial period of treatment - the symptoms of this natural bodily process can be eliminated or reduced.

Skin Care Is The Best Option.

There are many options for when it comes to eliminating the signs of embarrassing red dots on the skin. Often, doctors will prescribe harsh drugs to stem the development and production of the leading cause of acne - high sebum levels. This sounds like a good plan at first - but the side effects of such drugs can dangerously outweigh the temporary benefits. No doubt you will have heard about a few of these, as they are readily publicized by the media.

It is for this reason that the best method of tackling acne is via skin care products. These products can be found in the supermarket, at the pharmacy, or even from online stores. Basically, they work by nourishing, repairing, and eliminating blemishes on the skin, starting from the outside. Hence, the potential side effects from such actions are limited to things such as skin rashes and irritation.

Clearly, this is a much safer option than harsh and synthetic chemical drugs. Ultimately however - it is up to you to decide which mode of repair you choose for your skin, or the skin of a loved one.

Eating disorders

2009-09-25T14:29:00.001+08:00

Eating disorders are a mental illness. They can affect women and men of all age groups, from a range of backgrounds and from different cultures. Despite an increase in the incidence and understanding of eating disorders, many people live with these disorders for a long time without treatment or a clinical diagnosis.

Female adolescents and young women are most commonly affected, but men can be also be affected by eating disorders. It is estimated that approximately one in every 100 adolescent girls will develop anorexia nervosa and approximately five in 100 adolescent girls develop bulimia.

Signs and symptoms
Some habits and behaviours are common to people with eating disorders. They include:

Weight loss or weight change, usually due to dieting, but sometimes from an illness or stressful situation.
Preoccupation with body appearance or weight.
Loss or disturbance of menstrual periods in females.
Sensitivity to cold.
Faintness, dizziness and fatigue.
Increased mood changes and irritability.
Social withdrawal.
Anxiety and depression.
Inability to think rationally or concentrate.
Increased interest in preparing food for others.
Obsessive rituals, like only drinking out of a certain cup.
Wearing baggy clothes or changes in clothing style.
Excessive or fluctuating exercise patterns.
Avoidance of social situations involving food.
Frequent excuses not to eat.
Disappearance of large amounts of food.
Trips to the bathroom after meals.
Dieting.

Dieting, depression and body dissatisfaction are the most common risk factors for the onset of an eating disorder.

Causes
There is no single cause of eating disorders. It is currently agreed that eating disorders are multifactorial – that is, social, psychological and biological factors all play a part, in varying degrees, for different people.

Contributing factors may include:
Social factors

Media and other presentations of the ‘ideal’ shape as slim and fit.
Mixed messages about health and fast food.
Pressure to achieve and succeed.
Occupations or pursuits with an emphasis on body shape and size – for example, modeling or gymnastics.

Psychological factors

Major life changes or events such as adolescence, relationship breakdowns, childbirth, the death of a loved one, or the accumulation of many minor stressors.
Fear of the responsibilities of adulthood.
A belief that love is dependent on high achievement.
Poor communication between family members.

Biological factors

Adolescence and its associated physical changes.
Genetic or familial factors.

If you think you have an eating disorder
Many people have problems with their eating. If you do have an eating disorder, you have the right to get help. Remember that these disorders can be overcome.

Getting professional help and support from others is important. Recovery may be slow as you learn to approach food in a more positive way and understand the reasons for your behaviour, but the effort will be worthwhile.

Family and friends
Parents, siblings, partners, friends, extended family, work colleagues and others often experience many different feelings as they learn to cope with the effects of an eating disorder on the person, and on their own lives.

The strain of living with an eating disorder can create tensions and divisions within a family. There may be feelings of confusion, grief, anger, guilt and fear.

Family and friends can remind their loved one that the effort associated with recovery will be worthwhile for everyone. The most important thing is to show love, care and faith in the person, and seek advice at the earliest possible time.

Some suggestions for family and friends include:

Be honest and open about your concerns.
Use ‘I’ statements rather than ‘you’ statements. For example, ‘I am concerned for you because I have noticed you are not so happy at the moment’ rather than, ‘You aren’t happy at the moment’.
Focus on the person’s behavioural changes, rather than their weight, food consumption or physical appearance.
Try to take the focus off food and weight. The person with the eating disorder is already likely to be excessively focused on food and weight issues.
Mealtimes should not be a battleground. Frustrations and emotions need to be expressed but not at mealtimes, which are already likely to be difficult.
Do things as you usually would. The person with the eating disorder needs to learn to co-exist with food and other people, rather than others learning to co-exist with the eating disorder.

Treatment and recovery
Many different forms of therapy are available and it is important to remember that different approaches work for different people. Once the right approach is found, prospects of recovery are excellent. Professional help and support from others is important.

Because the disorders affect people physically and mentally, a range of health practitioners might be involved in treatment including psychiatrists, psychologists, doctors, dietitians, social workers, nurses and dentists.

Things to remember

There is no single cause of eating disorders.
Dieting, depression and body dissatisfaction are common risk factors for the onset of an eating disorder.
Eating disorders can be overcome with professional help and support from others.

Eating tips for teenagers

2009-09-25T14:26:00.000+08:00

Good nutrition is essential for everyone, but it’s especially important for growing teenagers. Unfortunately many Australian teenagers have an unbalanced diet. One in four adolescents buys unhealthy takeaway food every day or even a few times a day. If you eat takeaway food regularly, you are more likely to put on weight than if you eat fast food only occasionally.

Don’t despair! It doesn’t take a lot of effort to change your eating habits. A few simple changes will make a huge difference. You’ll feel better, manage your weight, improve your skin and even save money!

Junk food is poor fuel for your body
About nine in 10 teenagers eat junk food every day. This might be fizzy drinks and high-kilojoule snacks like potato chips. However, your body can’t run properly on inferior fuel. Compared to home-cooked food, junk food (which includes fast food) is almost always:

Higher in fat, particularly saturated fat
Higher in salt
Higher in sugar
Lower in fibre
Lower in nutrients such as vitamins and minerals
Served in larger portions, which means more kilojoules.

While a mid-life heart attack might seem too far away to be real, it may surprise you to know that you could have health problems already. A poor diet can cause weight gain, high blood pressure, constipation, fatigue and concentration problems – even when you’re young.

How to improve your diet without even trying
Small changes can make a big impact. Try these tips:

Cut back on fizzy sugary drinks. Go for sugar-free versions. Even better, drink water instead – try adding a slice of lemon, lime or orange.
Keep a fruit bowl stocked at home for fast and low-kilojoule snacks.
Eat breakfast every day so you’re less likely to snack on junk food at morning tea. A fortified breakfast cereal served with low fat milk can provide plenty of vitamins, mineral and fibre. Other fast and healthy options include yoghurt or wholemeal toast.
Don’t skip lunch or dinner either.
Help with the cooking and think up new ways to create healthy meals. Make those old family recipes lower in fat by changing the cooking method – for example, grill, stir-fry, bake, boil or microwave instead of deep frying.
Reduce the size of your meals.
Don’t add salt to your food.
Don’t eat high fat foods every time you visit a fast food outlet with your friends. Many of the popular fast food chains now have healthier food choices on the menu.
Change your meeting place. Rather than meeting up with your friends at the local takeaway shop, suggest a food outlet that serves healthier foods such as wholemeal rolls or sushi.

Change the way you think about food
There are lots of myths around about healthy food. Don’t make food choices based on false beliefs. Suggestions include:

Compare the prices of junk foods against the price of healthier food options to see that ‘healthy’ doesn’t have to mean ‘expensive’.
Experiment with different foods and recipes. You’ll soon discover that a meal cooked with fresh ingredients always leaves a limp burger or soggy chips for dead.
Try different ‘fast’ options like wholewheat breakfast cereal, muesli, wholemeal bread, wholegrain muffins, fruit, yoghurt or noodles. ‘Fast food’ doesn’t have to mean ‘junk food’.
Don’t think that your diet has to be ‘all or nothing’. Eating well doesn’t mean you must be a health food freak. A good diet allows for treats occasionally.

Change your environment
Suggestions include:

Lobby your school canteen for healthier food choices.
Ask your school canteen to include a range of low-price healthy food choices.
Help with the grocery shopping and opt for fewer processed foods.
Get involved in the kitchen at home. Browse the Better Health Channel recipe finder for inspiration – click on the ‘Quick and easy’ button if time is an issue for you and your family.

Things to remember

A teenager who eats fast food regularly is more likely to put on weight than a teenager who eats fast food only occasionally.

Many teenagers wrongly assume that healthy foods are expensive and tasteless.

Eating well doesn’t mean you must be a health food freak – a good diet allows for your favourite junk foods occasionally

Teens — Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS)

2009-09-24T23:08:00.001+08:00

Your breasts feel swollen and tender and may even hurt a little. Your belly is bloated, making it hard to button your favorite jeans. If you are one of the many girls who experience PMS, these are among the symptoms you may experience 7 to 10 days before your monthly period begins.

PMS symptoms generally go away as soon as your menstrual period arrives. Here are some tips to help you manage any symptoms of PMS that you may experience:

Get more exercise. Special chemicals in the brain are responsible for increasing pleasure and decreasing pain. These chemicals are called endorphins, and exercise helps increase them.
Eat less sugar and caffeine.
Eat less salt. If you're careful not to eat too much salt, you can help decrease water retention (bloating).
Relieve aches and pains with over-the-counter pills.

Cramps
They Don't Have to Cramp Your Style (Too Much!)

Cramps are yet another unwelcome symptom of having your period. Some girls never get cramps; others get them only occasionally, and some unlucky gals are bothered by cramps every single period. Cramps usually begin during the first three years of your period. The good news is there are some things you can do to ease the discomfort of cramps during your period:

Relieve aches and pains with over-the-counter pills.
Try a little light exercise. Activity makes many women feel better.
Apply some heat. Warmth can often soothe cramps. Take a long, hot bath or place a hot water bottle or heating pad on your stomach.
Give yourself a gentle massage. Gently rubbing or massaging your abdomen can often relieve cramps.
Eat less salt. Drink more water. That "huge" feeling you get each month is caused by increased hormones that make you retain water, which in turn makes body tissue swell. So, drink more water and eat less salt. You'll help relieve bloating and headaches-and you might even feel more comfy in your favorite jeans!
Limit caffeine. As tough as it is to cut back on those grande, extra hot, no whip mochas, taking in less caffeine does help some women feel better.
Get enough sleep. It's much easier to deal with discomfort when you're not tired and cranky. Try to catch a few extra z's if you can.

If none of these ideas helps to relieve your cramps, see your doctor. He or she can make sure there aren't other causes for your symptoms, and may prescribe stronger medicine than you can buy over the counter.

Teenagers: How to gain the respect you know you deserve

2009-09-23T20:31:00.001+08:00

How do you gain the respect that you know you deserve? The thing is how do you know that you deserve the respect that you think you should be getting? Respect is something that is earned, and you don't set out to just go and get respect, you get respect through the things that you do, and the actions that you take. Respect is an earned thing that you gain over time, and if people don't respect you, either they don't really care about what you do, or you haven't earned it.

So how do you go about earning the respect of other people? Well, you can do more and speak less. Those who talk a lot may get a lot of the attention, but do they really deserve all the attention that they get? The ones who come into work, and don't ask for anything other than the paycheck that they get are the ones that deserve to be respected. The people who know what they are doing, and don't try to show off all the time are the ones who earn respect.

If you think that you have earned the respect of the people around you and you don't think that you have gotten it, why not stand up for yourself? If you think that you have done enough to be respected, well then you have to step up and respect yourself first. If you don't respect yourself, and aren't proud of your own accomplishments then how do you think other people are going to feel about you? Being respected is all about carrying yourself with dignity.

Don't let people walk all over you. Just because you aren't a showboat doesn't mean that people can take your work for granted, or that you will just do what people tell you. You have to be able to make people remember what you are good for, and if you feel like you are being disrespected, don't take it, just walk away for a bit and see what happens. Do people not think that you are good enough to do your job anymore? Well take a week off, and then see how the office operates without you.

Lead by example, and let your work speak for itself. Don't feel the need to have to respond to criticism, and allow others to get into your head. If other people really could do the job that you could do, then they would be in the spot that you are in, and would be doing your job. Don't let the idle chatter of those who are jealous get in the way of you getting the respect you deserve. If you have to set someone straight, then go ahead and do so. Don't get pushed around, and let your work speak for itself, and you will get the respect that you want.

If you aren't getting the respect you feel like you deserve, you can always take your services elsewhere. Don't let your employer, or your co-workers take you for granted. It is up to you to earn the respect you feel you deserve, but if you aren't given it you can't be taken for granted either. You have to step up and take the respect that you feel you have earned, otherwise people might just walk all over you.

Teen's Health - Types of Anxiety Disorder's

2009-09-22T11:40:00.001+08:00

Many different types of anxiety disorders affect children and adolescents. Several types of disorders and their signs are described below:

Generalized Anxiety Disorder: Children and adolescents with this type of anxiety disorder engage in extreme, unrealistic worry about everyday life activities. They worry unduly about their academic performance, sporting activities, or even about being on time. Typically, these young people are very self-conscious, feel tense, and have a strong need for reassurance. They may complain about stomachaches or other discomforts that do not appear to have any physical cause.

Separation Anxiety Disorder: Children and adolescents with this type of anxiety disorder often have difficulty leaving their parents to attend school or camp, stay at a friend's house, or be alone. Often, they "cling" to parents and have trouble falling asleep. Separation anxiety disorder may be accompanied by depression, sadness, withdrawal, or fear that a family member might die. About one in every 25 children experiences separation anxiety disorder.

Phobias: Children and adolescents with phobias have unrealistic and excessive fears of certain situations or objects. Many phobias have specific names, and the disorder usually centers on animals, storms, water, heights, or situations, such as being in an enclosed space. Children and adolescents with social phobias are terrified of being criticized or judged harshly by others. Young people with phobias will try to avoid the objects and situations they fear, so the disorder can greatly restrict their lives.

Panic Disorder: Repeated "panic attacks" in children and adolescents without an apparent cause are signs of a panic disorder. Panic attacks are periods of intense fear accompanied by a pounding heartbeat, sweating, dizziness, nausea, or a feeling of imminent death. The experience is so scary that young people live in dread of another attack. Children and adolescents with the disorder may go to great lengths to avoid situations that may bring on a panic attack. They also may not want to go to school or to be separated from their parents.

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder: Children and adolescents with obsessive-compulsive disorder, sometimes called OCD, become trapped in a pattern of repetitive thoughts and behaviors. Even though they may recognize that the thoughts or behaviors appear senseless and distressing, the pattern is very hard to stop. Compulsive behaviors may include repeated hand washing, counting, or arranging and rearranging objects. About two in every 100 adolescents experience obsessive-compulsive disorder (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 1999).

Post-traumatic Stress Disorder: Children and adolescents can develop post-traumatic stress disorder after they experience a very stressful event. Such events may include experiencing physical or sexual abuse; being a victim of or witnessing violence; or living through a disaster, such as a bombing or hurricane. Young people with post-traumatic stress disorder experience the event over and over through strong memories, flashbacks, or other kinds of troublesome thoughts. As a result, they may try to avoid anything associated with the trauma. They also may overreact when startled or have difficulty sleeping.

Teen Health - Anxiety Disorders

2009-09-22T11:38:00.001+08:00

Children and adolescents with anxiety disorders typically experience intense fear, worry, or uneasiness that can last for long periods of time and significantly affect their lives. If not treated early, anxiety disorders can lead to:

Repeated school absences or an inability to finish school;
Impaired relations with peers;
Low self-esteem;
Alcohol or other drug use;
Problems adjusting to work situations; and
Anxiety disorder in adulthood.

How common are anxiety disorders?

Anxiety disorders are among the most common mental, emotional, and behavioral problems to occur during childhood and adolescence. About 13 of every 100 children and adolescents ages 9 to 17 experience some kind of anxiety disorder; girls are affected more than boys.1 About half of children and adolescents with anxiety disorders have a second anxiety disorder or other mental or behavioral disorder, such as depression. In addition, anxiety disorders may coexist with physical health conditions requiring treatment.

Who is at risk?

Researchers have found that the basic temperament of young people may play a role in some childhood and adolescent anxiety disorders. For example, some children tend to be very shy and restrained in unfamiliar situations, a possible sign that they are at risk for developing an anxiety disorder. Research in this area is very complex, because children's fears often change as they age.

Researchers also suggest watching for signs of anxiety disorders when children are between the ages of 6 and 8. During this time, children generally grow less afraid of the dark and imaginary creatures and become more anxious about school performance and social relationships. An excessive amount of anxiety in children this age may be a warning sign for the development of anxiety disorders later in life.

Studies suggest that children or adolescents are more likely to have an anxiety disorder if they have a parent with anxiety disorders. However, the studies do not prove whether the disorders are caused by biology, environment, or both. More data are needed to clarify whether anxiety disorders can be inherited.

How To Delegate a Responsibility to Your Teen

2009-09-22T11:34:00.000+08:00

As children get older, they are capable of more and more responsibility. Smart parents who recognize this are able to give their teen chores or other responsibilities that used to be done by the parent. Not only can these tasks be given to a teen, but a parent can expect that the task will be completed properly. All a parent needs to do is delegate.

Clear communication is a must. Be clear about the responsibility you want completed.
Explain to your teenager that taking on responsibilities leads to learning self-confidence. It also helps you know that your teen is capable of handling responsibility and therefore, may lead to more priviledges.
If the task is a multi-part task, write out the directions on how to get it done. For example, if you want the bathroom cleaned list what needs cleaned and what to cleaner to use.
Allow your teen to do the task independently. Do not stand over him/her.
Go back and check that your teen has completed the responsibility to your satisfaction.
If your teen has completed the task to your satisfaction, thank him/her. Do this every time the task is completed correctly.
If your teen has not completed the task to your satisfaction, explain what needs to be done to get it right and ask that he/she try again next time. Check step #3 and repeat step #4 through step #7 next time.

Tips: Do not get into a battle of wills on any given week. Let your teen know your expectations and that you’ll be ready to check again the following time the task needs to be done.

The Problem of Teenage Drinking and Alcoholism

2009-09-20T02:38:00.002+08:00

Whilst alcoholism in its truest form is normally the province of older people, there are an alarming number teenagers and even younger children who have alcohol issues.

It's a big issue in the press; the frequency and infamy of binge drinking amongst young people and the explosion of underage drinking makes appalling headlines. But the headlines only really show part of the issue.

Getting Wasted

British teenagers and young people often have the attitude that the definition of having a good time is getting as wasted as possible. The tales of drunken bravado, the stories of how trashed they were, they see this as something cool, something that makes them popular and amusing company and the actual details of the night out pale into insignificance - it's all about how much they drank.

Drinking irresponsibly like this is risky for anyone, but young people can find themselves at the mercy of all sorts of problems, including having their drinks spiked and them being raped, or to perhaps finding themselves getting arrested for throwing up in the street or fighting.

Getting Spiked

Teenagers need to realize that the number one date rape drug used is alcohol, not rohypnol or ketamine.

Both girls and boys are vulnerable and for various different reasons. Boys can find themselves getting beaten up, mugged or attacked when under the influence. And boys can also be drugged and raped too - it's not just girls at risk.

Showing Off

People, particularly boys, will also find that alcohol releases the daredevil inside them, leading to mad acts of bravado that can often lead to accidents or confrontation. Stunt behaviour like climbing scaffolding or hoardings might seem a great idea after several pints, but it isn't really.

Accidents happen on the streets too; it's a fact is that eight out of 10 pedestrians knocked down and killed on Friday or Saturday nights are under the influence, wobbling about in the street, or roaring up and down in the road.

Unprotected Sex

Something for both sexes to think about here - unprotected sex, which can obviously lead to unwanted pregnancies, but also STDs. Using a condom can help prevent both these things, but this often gets forgotten when heavy drinking has been taking place.

Are you a Worried Parent?

If you are the parent of a teenager or youngster that is drinking too much can be stressful and worrying. But tackling the subject is never straightforward. It's all too easy to go in all guns blazing and have a heated row or argument over it all, but there are ways of trying to tackle this with a bit more tact and communication.

The first thing to do it to remember is that a huge part of talking is listening. Don't lecture, but rather sit and explain the dangers of excessive drinking, and the positive aspects of having a healthy lifestyle, including keeping on top of excess weight! Remember to stay calm and to take the time to hear responses. It will make a big difference.

Teach by example. It's no good telling your children or teenagers that drinking is bad for them if you yourself are often drunk.

Stay up to date on information relating to the dangers of alcohol, including as the health effects, dangers of spiking, date rape, underage drinking and so on. You will enjoy more respect if you sound like you know what you're on about.

And be realistic. Teenagers have always experimented and drunk alcohol, whether it's from their parents cocktail cupboard, or by asking strangers to buy them cider in the local off license. And recognise peer pressure too. Help your child arm themselves with ways to say 'no' and still be cool, like 'it's too high in calories', 'It makes me sick' or even 'I don't like it'!

Sleep Healthy and Teens

2009-09-18T13:04:00.004+08:00

Most teens need on the order of 9-plus hours nightly to have optimal sleep. The need for sleep does not really change across adolescence, the amount of sleep young people get does decrease in older teens. Thus, the sleep deficit grows right along with the youngster.

Many factors combine to decrease sleep in adolescents. We can think in general of two major factors: behavior, by which that mean all the psychological, parental, societal, cultural features of a teen’s life, and biological, means the brain processes that regulate the amount and timing of sleep. Adolescents and their sleep patterns in 21st century as a version of the "perfect storm."

The sleep-wake bio-regulatory factors appear to undergo significant changes during adolescence. These changes lay the ground work for the biological night to occur later during the teen years than before. The circadian timing system (daily biological clock) seems to slow down and lag behind as young people progress through the middle school years. At the same time, the sleep pressure system appears to change in a way that makes it easier to stay awake longer, though without changing the amount of sleep that is needed.

It is no longer an issue of electric lights in the home, but many teens have a veritable technological playground in their bedrooms: television, computer with 24/7 Internet access, telephones, electronic game stations, MP3 players, and so forth. These technologies can also provide instant and incessant contact with peers. Societal/media pressure to consume these technologies is now higher than ever. Yet society also requires that teens go to school at a time of day that is at odds with their biological and social lives. It’s more surprising to find teens in the U.S. today that get enough sleep than those who get too little.

Teens may be driven to things that can wake them up simply because they’ll fall asleep if they do not. So we see caffeine, late-night Internet, chat rooms, IM’ing, cramming in activity after activity as a means to keep awake and necessitating more of the same to stay awake in the face of declining sleep. This is another way to think of the negative spiral of too little sleep.

These patterns can disguise the extent of their sleep deficit for many teens and their parents as well. On the other hand, we do see the signs emerge in many young people, each may be vulnerable in different ways. Thus, we see the teenager who falls asleep driving home late at night; in another teen, the problem emerges with titanic struggles to wake up in the morning, often failing and resulting in late or missed school; another may simply feel sad and moody and blue, lacking initiative or motivation; in other teens, grades begin to suffer as the teen struggles to keep awake during class and while doing homework; another may turn to heavier drugs to get some positive and arousing sensations; many just struggle along in a kind of haze, never knowing how to feel or do their best.

Teen Health

2009-09-17T11:33:00.001+08:00

Teenager’s life is difficult when taking into considerations his/her health issues. It is one of the most important parts of an individual. In this phase, the individual faces numerous changes - physical, psychological and environmental transformation. At the age of puberty, an individual counteracts different kinds of people, mingle with the opposite sex, undergo various physical changes, etc.

Teenage life engages following:

- Drugs and Alcohol – At adolescent, most people tend to experiment with alcohol or drugs, or both. There are plenty of good, confidential support and rehabilitation programs available.

- Tobacco and Smoking - Smoking kills actively or passively. It's very addictive and most them die for this cause. It is a serious teenage issue, and should be put under remedial measures.

- Physical Activity – Sports and recreation adds a flavor to teenage life, such as walking or cycling to school, swimming, sports, helps one to feel and look good.

- Painful Urination – is a sign of Urinary infection and a common problem among teenagers. Painful urination can also be caused by vaginal infection or irritation. However, it can also be caused due to intake of certain drugs.

- Mental Health – Due to series of changes taking place all around, a teenage are liable to get mentally distressed. It can affect the ability to handle day-to-day problems and/or enjoying life. Caused by a wide range of life events such as school stress, relationship problems, or the death of someone close, parental counseling and sympathy at such a situation is conducive.

- Healthy Eating – Diet food is necessary at the stage of growth of every living organism. Teenage is the growth stage of an individual’s life. Therefore, proper food that one can enjoy as well as add nutritious to the body is mandatory. Since, there is a need for a lot of energy in a young body, basic healthy food is essential.

- Preventing Injury – Occurrences like accidents on the roads, at home, at school, in sports grounds, etc. causes injuries to young, growing and fragile cellular body. Therefore immediate first aids and preventive measures, proper care should be applied. Negligence can even lead to death.

Create a Drug-free Environment for your Kids

2009-09-16T11:39:00.002+08:00

How do you create a drug-free environment for your children? Here are a few tips:

Stay engaged with your teenager's life,
Listen to your teenager,
Keep track of what they are doing and when,
Get to know your teen's friends and their parents,
If a teenage party is planned, call the parents for details,
Make sure your kids are rewarded for good behaviour,
Encourage open and honest communication between parent and child.

When your teenage child is going out, ask them questions, such as the following:

Who are they going to be with?
What will they be doing?
How long will they be out for?
and, where are they going to be?

Talk to your kids about the importance of honest communication, and if they say they are going to be somewhere doing something, you expect them to be telling you the truth.

Remember being a teenager right after school when everyone would get together and socialize before going home? This critical time of the day, from 3 to 6 pm, is often when drug use happens. There are several things you can do to try and deal with this very influential period of the day:

Make an effort to be with your teens at that time, if possible,
Try to have a positive influence present (an adult or trusted friends) watching over them or being active with them,
See that they're engaged in extra-curricular activities that interest them such as sports, jobs, clubs, after-school programs or groups that you know of and can trust.

Set Boundaries

Expectations

Setting expectations is a skill that requires practice as a parent. It's important on this issue to be consistent and clear that you will not allow any illicit drug use in your house at an early age, because when young people enter high school, their risk of drug use can be greater if expectations have not been clearly outlined.

Rules

Sure, your teenage children are spending less time with you as they grow older. This is even more reason to continue to set rules around drug use. Ensuring this message stays consistent will help your teenager resist pressures to use drugs as they move into their later teenage years. Rules are more likely to be effective if your teenager is involved in determining the rules with you as a parent, rather than just having the rules imposed on them.

Consequences

Parents need to enforce rules consistently and fairly. All families are different and individual teenagers may respond in their own way to different consequences, but it's important to support the rules you've made with consequences that are appropriate for your child.

Teens' Leisure Habits

2009-09-15T10:56:00.000+08:00

When sitting around the house with nothing to do, many American adults instinctively reach for the remote control -- in fact, watching television is one of the most favorite ways adults spend an evening. Results from a recent Gallup Youth Survey indicate that most teens are flipping on the tube, too. When asked in an August 2004 survey* if they watched television yesterday, 9 in 10 teens (90%) between the ages of 13 and 17 said yes.

What other pastimes do teens indulge in? The Gallup survey asked teens whether they'd done various activities and found activities related to electronic media reign supreme. In addition to watching television, teens are also listening to music -- 77% of U.S. teens listened to music on the radio the day before the survey, and virtually the same percentage (76%) listened to music on CDs or MP3s.

A majority of teenagers -- 60% -- said they'd used the Internet the previous day. However, other data show that the Internet has a long way to go before overtaking television. According to a 2003 study by Knowledge Networks/Statistical Research, Inc., 60% of children between the ages of 8 and 17 have a television in their bedrooms, while only 9% have Internet access through a computer.

More than a third (37%) of teens report that they played computer games the previous day. This is one of the few activities Gallup asked about that shows a significant gap between boys and girls. Nearly half (49%) of boys said they played computer games yesterday, compared with about a quarter (24%) of girls.

Fewer Teens Read

To the dismay of many parents, fewer teens said they'd read a book for pleasure than said they'd watched television, listened to music, or surfed the Internet. Still, a solid third (33%) of American teens said that they read a book for pleasure, rather than for homework, the day before the survey. (Note, since the survey was administered during the summer, most respondents were unlikely to have homework assignments during that period.) This question also shows a gap between boys and girls -- 26% of boys said they read a book for pleasure, compared with 40% of girls.

Teens report reading magazines and newspapers just about as often as they report reading books. Twenty-nine percent of teens reported reading a magazine in the past day, and 28% reported reading a newspaper.

The golden age of comic books has clearly passed. Just 7% of teens said they read a comic book yesterday.

*The Gallup Youth Survey is conducted via an Internet methodology provided by Knowledge Networks, using an online research panel that is designed to be representative of the entire U.S. population. The current questionnaire was completed by 439 respondents, aged 13 to 17, Aug. 8-19, 2004. For results based on the total sample, one can say with 95% confidence that the maximum margin of sampling error is ±5 percentage points.

Suicide of Indiana teenager raises medical testing issues

2009-09-14T21:18:00.000+08:00

Wait for the elevator in any high rise lobby and you'll be bombarded with invitations to quit smoking or stop depression now. Flyers advertising drug trials, conducted either by the University or by private pharmaceutical and biotechnology companies, commonly seek out Penn students for experimental treatments.

However, several highly publicized deaths following drug trials -- including those of 18-year-old Penn student Jesse Gelsinger in 1999 and 19-year-old Philadelphia native Traci Johnson last weekend in Indiana -- have sparked debate about the ethics and safety of recruiting college students for studies with potential health risks.

Gelsinger, who suffered from a mild form of the liver disease ornithine transcarbamylase deficiency, died of organ failure following injection with an experimental gene therapy treatment.

Johnson enrolled in January as a healthy participant in a trial of the antidepressant duloxetine. Four and a half days after she was taken off the drug, she committed suicide. Johnson was previously a student at Indiana Bible College but left school to take part in the Eli Lilly & Company study, which paid $150 a day.

Though Eli Lilly has initially ruled out the drug as the cause of Johnson's suicide, the investigation is ongoing, according to David Shaffer, a company spokesman.

Johnson's death has attracted national media attention partly because it came on the heels of a recent federal advisory panel announcement that said the Food and Drug Administration should issue stronger warnings about potential suicide risks for young people taking a certain class of antidepressants, including duloxetine.

Whether or not investigators conclude that duloxetine played a role in Johnson's suicide, the publicity surrounding both deaths raises questions about the place of college students in potentially life-threatening experiments.

Federal guidelines require representation in drug trials by the entire target user population, often including people under age 21. Because only people 18 or older are legally competent to enter into contracts, the undergraduate community spanning the ages 18-20 is coveted for participation in research studies.

Despite the technical definition of competency, some say that college undergraduates are too immature to give informed consent, or that their poverty makes them more likely to be lured by promises of compensation.

Shaffer called these types of generalizations an insult to young adults who are old enough to serve in the military.

"It would be, in our view, unethical and irresponsible to ... exclude undergraduates, knowing the medication is likely to be used by them," Shaffer said.

On the issue of compensation, he added that there are clear restrictions on the number of times that people can participate in research studies.

The Penn Institutional Review Board, which approves all human research studies, asks if "the level of compensation [is] going to lure people into the study inappropriately" according to Glen Gaulton, vice dean for research and research training in the Medical School.

Vice Chairman of the Psychiatry Department Charles O'Brien pointed out that the people who participate in research studies tend to be poor -- college students or not -- so good measures must be in place to make sure that all participants consent willingly.

He added that typical compensation for most studies is approximately $50.

The IRB subjects proposals to rigid scrutiny about consent, compensation and publicity. All studies planning to include people under 21 -- defined as a "vulnerable population" -- are tagged high-risk, Gaulton said.

O'Brien, however, said that college students are not given special treatment.

Ordinarily, "college students are just one subpopulation" and do not merit any extra applied safeguards.

Identified on trouble teens

2009-09-13T00:05:00.002+08:00

Parents often ignore the signs their teen is in trouble, explaining issues away with such beliefs as: "It's a normal phase of adolescence," "He or she will grow out of it." If you feel your teenager exhibits behavior that is impacting his or her academic performance, peer or other social relationships, or physical health, the earlier the intervention the better.

There are a number of standardized tests available to professionals that can help parents identify issues with alcohol or drugs as well as mental health issues:

Personal Experience Screening Questionnaire (PESQ)
Short, inexpensive self-report questionnaire identifies teenagers who should be referred for a complete chemical dependency evaluation.

Adolescent Alcohol Involvement Scale (AAIS)
Fourteen items are designed to identify adolescents with a drinking problem. Assesses level of use and impact by measuring psychological functioning, social relations, and family living.

Adolescent Diagnostic Interview (ADI)
Assesses psychoactive substance abuse in 12- to 18-year-old children. Evaluates psychosocial stressors, school and interpersonal functioning, and cognitive impairment. Screens for specific problems often associated with substance abuse.

Adolescent Drinking Index (ADI)
Measures severity of drinking problems among adolescents by assessing loss of control of drinking, social indicators of drinking problems, psychological indicators, and physical problems related to drinking. Helps professionals identify adolescents who should be referred for further alcohol evaluation or treatment. Also measures self-medicating problem drinking versus aggressive, rebellious drinking behavior.

Alcohol Use Inventory (AUI)
Twenty-four scales designed to measure alcohol use by older adolescents. Best for teens ages 16 and older.

Chemical Dependency Assessment Profile (CDAP)
A self-report questionnaire that evaluates alcohol use, use of illegal and prescription drugs, and abuse of multiple substances. Assesses history and patterns of use as well as personal beliefs and expectations related to drug and alcohol use. Also assesses self-concept and attitude toward treatment. Best for adolescents age 16 or older.

Perceived Benefit of Drinking Scale (PBDS)
Attitude impacts substance use. This test assesses reasons for drinking and drug use, frequency, perceived and actual consequences vs. benefits of use, as well as alcohol use by peer group and family members.

Problem Oriented Screening Instrument for Teenagers (POSIT)
The POSIT is a brief yes/no-answer screening tool that can help professionals identify problems and the potential need for intervention. Assesses substance use/abuse, mental and physical health, family and peer relations, vocation, and special education.

Rutgers Alcohol Problem Index (RAPI)
A 23-item self-administered screening tool to assess adolescent problem drinking. The advantages of this screening tool lie in its ease of administration and its standardization, which make it possible to compare problem drinking scores across groups.

Teen-Addiction Severity Index (T-ASI)
The T-ASI is a semistructured interview that was developed to fill the need for a reliable, valid, and standardized instrument for a periodic evaluation of adolescent substance abuse. Measures such issues as psychoactive substance use, family function, social relationships, and psychiatric status.

Young Adult Alcohol Problems Screening Test (YAAPST)
A 27-item questionnaire to assess lifetime, past-year, and past-year's frequency of negative consequences of alcohol use among college students. The YAAPST assesses both traditional consequences (e.g., hangovers, blackouts, driving while intoxicated) and consequences presumed to occur at higher rates in a college student population (e.g., missing class, damaging property, getting involved in regrettable sexual situations).For older adolescents (college age).

IDENTIFYING ADOLESCENTS AT RISK FOR SUICIDE

If your teen has expressed suicidal intentions, one important thing is to take away the car keys, especially if your teen has been using alcohol or drugs.

If you are not the parent, notify them immediately that you feel the teen is at risk for suicide. This is particularly important if the child has made a previous attempt or has developed a specific plan, or if the teen has recently experienced a trauma (death, school failure, moving to a new town).

Firearms should be immediately removed from the home. If you know other homes your teen frequents have guns (even locked guns), warn the homeowners of the risk.

Effective communication with your teen

2009-09-11T10:36:00.003+08:00

As children enter the teen-age years, the way parents discipline them must change in order to be effective. Autocratic commands with no explanation, or the threat of physical punishment no longer work. Instead, you need to establish a new, discussion-based relationship with your teen that promotes trust between parent and child.

This trust is based on mutual respect. Teen-agers are old enough to understand the words you say and often have the maturity to accept an attempt to treat them in a way that shows you understand they are growing up.

LEARNING TO LISTEN WITH YOUR "THIRD EAR"

There are always two parts to communication: content and process. Content refers to the words which are spoken, and ideas or feelings that are expressed. Process refers to that which is not said, or to that which is nonverbal--it's the hand gestures, the breathing, the posture and the facial expressions of your teen--it's reading that which is communicated "between the lines." Listen with your eyes as well as your ears; this is what refer to as listening with the third ear.

LEARNING TO LISTEN TO UNDERSTAND

Let your teen overcome his or her natural anxiety about sharing with you. Don't ask too many questions, especially questions that start with the word "why." Listen to understand your teen's feeling or viewpoint, and without ridiculing or refuting. Try not to plan your rebuttal, or your agenda for "setting him straight," while you listen. The teen may well need to be set straight--but not while you are trying to listen. If all a parent wants to do is set the teen straight, it will be most apparent--and an effective conclusion to your teen's willingness to talk with you. Remind yourself: all I am supposed to do right now is make sure that I understand what she is saying.

LEARNING TO CONFIRM YOUR UNDERSTANDING

While your teen talks, nod your head, utter an occasional "umm", or raise your eyebrow periodically. This lets your teen know that you are, indeed, listening. After a few sentences or paragraphs, interrupt and say, "Let me see if I understand what you're saying." Restate what you believe you have heard, and allow the teen to clarify if you have misunderstood something. Up to this point, do not agree or disagree. It is enough to let your teen know that you respect her enough to really listen carefully--carefully enough to really understand.

COMMUNICATING WITH YOUR TEEN--BASIC GUIDELINES

When is the "best time" to try to talk with my teen?

Generally, talking is going to be easier when it is your teen's idea. If necessary stop what you are doing and listen without distraction. Don't try to "listen" while doing something else. It is difficult to enthusiastically communicate against one's wishes. Timing is particularly important when the subject is touchy. Let your teen know that you want or expect to talk, but that you are willing to do so later if it facilitates communication.

Peer Pressure

2009-09-10T08:33:00.001+08:00

Peer pressure is one thing that all teens have in common. You can't escape it. It is everywhere. Whether it is pressure to conform to a group norm or pressure to act, peer pressure is something everybody has to deal with at some time in his or her life.

From the time people are quite young, peers influence what they do. During adolescence, that process, known as peer pressure, heightens. Fellow classmates, friends, and members of organizations, groups and teams have far greater influence on what teens think and how they act. They influence how teens feel about controlling their weight and their level of fitness; they affect whether teens take drugs or drink and drive. Of course, peer pressure does not magically disappear when one turns twenty. Many adults are influenced by what their peers say and do. But peer pressure does seem to be strongest during the teen years, and it may have longtime, significant consequences.

Peer pressure may be quite positive. Peers may encourage their fellow teens to study, work hard, be nice to their siblings and other relatives, and help their parents around the house. If a teen’s peers tend to hold outside jobs and do well in school, there is a good chance that the teen will also follow that pattern. Peers may even encourage their fellow teens to exercise more frequently, try out for sports or a theater production, attend religious services or faith-based activities, and dress neatly. If a teen’s peers do not smoke and they stay away from drinking and drugs, there is a good chance that the teen will do the same. Teens who are not sexually active often have peers who are similarly deferring sexual activity. Not surprisingly, goal oriented teens, who plan to attend college or learn a specific skill or trade, gravitate to other teens with similar aspirations.

But peer pressure is also known to be negative. If a teen’s peers are skipping classes, hanging out in gangs, smoking and taking drugs, and having sex—especially promiscuous sex—the teen may be drawn into those behaviors. In fact, some teens become sexually active because they believe it will increase their status among their peers. Peers can persuade their fellow teens that they should carry knives and guns, and they may draw teens into criminal behaviors such as shoplifting and robbery. People who have trouble with the law tend to have peer relationships with others who test the legal system. Even suicides and attempted suicides are known to place peers at greater risk for copycat suicides. It should be evident that teens should pick their peers with a great deal of care.

Why is peer pressure so strong during the teen years? Teens are still trying to determine where they belong. This searching occurs both within and outside their own families. At the same time, teens do not want to appear different; they hope to fit in with other teens and belong to a group.

Though positive peer pressure is to be supported, teens should attempt to reduce the influence of negative peer pressure. Teens should be aware of some of the signs of negative peer pressure such as temptations, taunts and threats. A peer may describe how wonderful he feels when he is high on a certain drug or how much fun he had at a party where there was no parental supervision and just about everyone was drunk. That teen is attempting to entice another teen to follow a similar path. There may be taunts for not participating in certain behaviors, implying that someone is childish or influenced too strongly by parents. Or, there may be threats. For example, a teen might note that unless another teen is willing to share answers to a test or engage in some other form of deception, the friendship is over.

Before they spend time with peers who may exert negative pressure, teens should consider the risks. Are the teens asking their friend to join them for an afternoon of shopping at the mall or do they have another purpose such as shoplifting? Shoplifting is stealing and against the law. Stores prosecute shoplifters. Will the party peers want their friend to attend have no parental supervision? Will there be drinking? Drugs? All of these may have negatives consequences, and, if the police become involved, could impact a teen’s life now and in the future.

Instead of being drawn into negative peer pressure, a teen should think of alternative activities that he enjoys. Rather than attending a party that may have dangerous activity, he should have dinner with a few friends and see a movie. What should a teen do if he is already at a party and friends pressure him to do something he shouldn’t? In general, it is best to leave the party. But, if that is not an option, a teen should try to ignore the offer. If that doesn’t work, he should think of an excuse or make a joke. Other options include changing the subject or countering the challenge. It may be desirable to suggest that true friends don’t put such pressure on their friends. Teens might want to teach themselves to be assertive and practice role play in advance. Avoiding an argument is also a good idea. It is best not to let the situation turn acrimonious or become physically violent. Sometimes, a teen should simply walk away. Teens need to learn to be comfortable when they stand up for what they believe, especially when confronted with negative peer pressure. When something seems to be wrong, it usually is. So, teens should listen to their instincts. And, they must not be afraid to lose a negative friendship. If a peer is trying to steer a teen in a negative course, that is a friend the teen should not have.

Though parents heavily influence the early years, as a child becomes a teen, they repeatedly turn to their friends for advice. But that does not means that the parents should not play a role. It is important for teens to continue open communication with their parents. Teens should recall that their peers have limited lifetime experience. On the other hand, their parents are able to draw on many extra years of know-how. When appropriate, teens should factor in their parents’ input. This is most imperative when confronted with serious decisions and stressors of life. Teens may be surprised at how helpful and instructive their parents may be. And, parents will be pleased that their teens are turning to them for guidance and assistance.

Teenage Depression Symptoms

2009-09-09T09:04:00.003+08:00

The following are some of the most common symptoms of teenage depression. These symptoms don’t directly correspond to symptoms of major depression, but they’re similar. A teenager who

meets some of the following will often qualify for a diagnosis of major depression.

Frequent sadness, tearfulness, crying
Teens may show their pervasive sadness by wearing black clothes, writing poetry with morbid themes, or having a preoccupation with music that has nihilistic themes. They may cry for no apparent reason.

Hopelessness
Teens may feel that life is not worth living or worth the effort to even maintain their appearance or hygiene. They may believe that a negative situation will never change and be pessimistic about their future.

Decreased interest in activities; or inability to enjoy previously favorite activities
Teens may become apathetic and drop out of clubs, sports, and other activities they once enjoyed. Not much seems fun anymore to the depressed teen.

Persistent boredom; low energy
Lack of motivation and lowered energy level is reflected by missed classes or not going to school. A drop in grade averages can be equated with loss of concentration and slowed thinking.

Social isolation, poor communication
There is a lack of connection with friends and family. Teens may avoid family gatherings and events. Teens who used to spend a lot of time with friends may now spend most of their time alone and without interests. Teens may not share their feelings with others, believing that they are alone in the world and no one is listening to them or even cares about them.

Low self esteem and guilt
Teens may assume blame for negative events or circumstances. They may feel like a failure and have negative views about their competence and self-worth. They feel as if they are not “good enough.”

Extreme sensitivity to rejection or failure
Believing that they are unworthy, depressed teens become even more depressed with every supposed rejection or perceived lack of success.

Increased irritability, anger, or hostility
Depressed teens are often irritable, taking out most of their anger on their family. They may attack others by being critical, sarcastic, or abusive. They may feel they must reject their family before their family rejects them.

Difficulty with relationships
Teens may suddenly have no interest in maintaining friendships. They’ll stop calling and visiting their friends.

Frequent complaints of physical illnesses, such as headaches and stomachaches
Teens may complain about lightheadedness or dizziness, being nauseous, and back pain. Other common complaints include headaches, stomachaches, vomiting, and menstrual problems.

Frequent absences from school or poor performance in school
Children and teens who cause trouble at home or at school may actually be depressed but not know it. Because the child may not always seem sad, parents and teachers may not realize that the behavior problem is a sign of depression.

Poor concentration
Teens may have trouble concentrating on schoolwork, following a conversation, or even watching television.

A major change in eating and/or sleeping patterns
Sleep disturbance may show up as all-night television watching, difficulty in getting up for school, or sleeping during the day. Loss of appetite may become anorexia or bulimia . Eating too much may result in weight gain and obesity.

Talk of or efforts to run away from home
Running away is usually a cry for help. This may be the first time the parents realize that their child has a problem and needs help.

Thoughts or expressions of suicide or self-destructive behavior
Teens who are depressed may say they want to be dead or may talk about suicide. Depressed children and teens are at increased risk for committing suicide. If a child or teen says, “I want to kill myself,” or “I’m going to commit suicide,” always take the statement seriously and seek evaluation from a child and adolescent psychiatrist or other mental health professional. People often feel uncomfortable talking about death. However, asking whether he or she is depressed or thinking about suicide can be helpful. Rather than “putting thoughts in the child’s head,” such a question will provide assurance that somebody cares and will give the young person the chance to talk about problems.

Alcohol and Drug Abuse
Depressed teens may abuse alcohol or other drugs as a way to feel better.

Self-Injury
Teens who have difficulty talking about their feelings may show their emotional tension, physical discomfort, pain and low self-esteem with self-injurious behaviors, such as cutting.

Teenage Depression

2009-09-09T08:46:00.003+08:00

Teenagers experience depression in a manner very similar to adults, but they may experience their emotions more intensely and with greater volatility. Feeling down about a relationship issue or an upcoming exam is normal. Feeling down for months at a time for no particular reason, however, may be a sign of undiagnosed depression.

Teen depression is a serious issue, but can be helped when you know the symptoms. Though the term “depression” can describe a normal human emotion, it also can refer to a mental disorder. Depressive illness in teenagers is defined when the feelings of depression persist and interfere with the teen’s ability to function.

Depression is fairly common in teens and younger children. About 5 percent of children and adolescents in the general population suffer from depression at any given point in time. Teens under stress, who experience loss, or who have attentional, learning, conduct or anxiety disorders are at a higher risk for depression. Teenage girls are at especially high risk, as are minority youth.

Depressed youth often have problems at home. In many cases, the parents are depressed, as depression tends to run in families. Over the past 50 years, depression has become more common and is now recognized at increasingly younger ages. As the rate of depression rises, so does the teen suicide rate.

It is important to remember that the behavior of depressed children and teenagers may differ from the behavior of depressed adults. The characteristics vary, with most children and teens having additional psychiatric disorders, such as behavior disorders or substance abuse problems.

Teen Tobacco Use Becomes A Daily Habit

2009-09-08T08:04:00.008+08:00

Researchers have found new evidence showing that parents play a key role in whether or not their adolescent children who experiment with tobacco progress to become daily smokers before they graduate from high school.

A study published on-line and in the September issue of journal Pediatrics shows that parents can be a positive or negative influence on their children’s future smoking habit.

“If parents really don’t want their children to smoke they need to communicate that by establishing clear guidelines in their families about not smoking and discuss them with their school-age children.” said Min Jung Kim, a research scientist with the University of Washington’s Social Development Research Group and lead author of the study.

At the same time, parents can increase their children’s chances of smoking by their own use of tobacco.

“If parents smoke, teens have more access to cigarettes than teens who have non-smoking parents. A second preventive measure for smoking parents is to quit smoking themselves,” said Kim.

The study included 270 adolescents who had begun smoking by the eighth grade but had not advanced to daily smoking at that time. Daily smoking was defined as smoking one cigarette a day for the past 30 days prior to annual interviews. By the time the students were in the 12th grade, 156, or 58 percent, had become daily smokers.

The children in the study were 51 percent male and 85 percent white. They were drawn from a larger study looking at the development of healthy and problem behaviors among children at 10 suburban schools in the Pacific Northwest. Information about their smoking habits was collected during annual interviews from the seventh through 12th grades.

Aside from parenting and parental tobacco use, other factors that predicted teen smoking were having friends who smoked and involvement in other problems behaviors such as skipping school, getting into fights and engaging in vandalism.

Kim said most smoking prevention programs to not directly address the role of parental smoking or the link between anti-social behavior and smoking, which commonly occur together.

“Parents need to know that they are still important and can make their children feel good when they do something right and also know that there are consequences when they do something wrong. Many parents think adolescence is the time for children to have their independence. But it is important to maintain good supervision of your teen. Parents who smoke also need to understand that they are modeling behavior and if they quit smoking they send a strong message to their teenager,” said Kim.

She recommends that parents “should not ignore children’s experimental smoking at any age because it put them at great risk of progressing to daily smoking.” To do that, parents should:

Set and enforce clear guideline about tobacco.
Monitor to ensure that your children are following your guidelines.
Know and monitor your children’s friends.
Provide clear, consistent and positive consequences for following those guidelines and appropriate, consistent negative consequences for violating them.

Co-authors of the paper are Charles Fleming and Richard Catalano, of the Social Development Research Group, which is part of the UW’s School of Social Work. The research was funded by the National Institute on Drug Abuse.

Native American Tobaccoo flower,
leaves, and buds

Internet, social media increases impact on families

2009-09-08T00:10:00.003+08:00

AUSTIN, Texas, Sept. 3 /Christian Newswire/ — As social interaction changes from verbal conversations to texted acronyms or 140-character bites, parents and adolescents find themselves in a generational gap, widening a chasm of non-communication within families, says Dr. Jimmy Myers, owner and director of the Timothy Center in Austin and author of “Toe to Toe with Your Tees.”

The Nielsen Company reports teens average 80 texts per day, or 2,272 a month. Inside Facebook reported 5.4 million users between the ages of 13 and 17 were using Facebook in February. According to Myers, parenting and adolescent issues associated with the emergence of technology is the most recent trend of concerns facing the family dynamic.

“Unrestrained access and usage of social networking technology not only opens our kids up to cyber bullying, and unhealthy levels of social involvement, it also gives sexual predators and pornographers a fertile field of young minds to exploit,” said Myers. “Setting down a set of rules, which both the parent and teen can agree to and live by, is essential to guiding families through these potential mine fields.”

Myers has spent more than 25 years counseling teens and parents, including the last seven years through The Timothy Center, a unique counseling practice focusing on helping families find solutions to life’s challenges.

“Parents may not understand or be welcomed into kid’s ‘world beneath,’ but it is incumbent upon them to make every effort to learn as much as they can about it, because this is where teens spend so much of their time,” Myers writes. “Parents of teenagers should proactively keep abreast of teen culture because this knowledge offers a window into their child’s heart, mind and driving interests.”

Myers offers practical advice to parents on a variety of teen issues in his new book, “Toe to Toe With Your Teen: A Guide to Successfully Parenting a Defiant Teen Without Giving Up or Giving In,” available now in bookstores nationwide (Regal Books, ISBN 0830749012, $14.99).

Caring for a parents

2009-09-06T20:38:00.003+08:00

It may not be fair, but teens are often called upon to care for a parent. Whether it is due to a short virus, broken limb or long-term illness, there are times that parents can’t do it all on their own and a teen is the most suitable person in the home to lend a helping hand. However, just because you are available to help care for a parent does not mean that caring should become your full-time job. You are still a young person who should be concentrating on your own education and social life, so finding support if you need it is imperative.

Understanding the Situation

For teens who are called upon to care for a parent, understanding the situation is of the utmost importance. If you don’t already know, find out what the injury or illness is, what the prognosis for the future is, who your parent’s doctors or therapists are and if there are any types of medications that will be taken (and when, and how). When you are armed with all of this information you can begin to make informed decisions about what you can do and what you will not be able to do. For example, while you may have no trouble cooking dinner for your parent you likely won’t be home to feed them breakfast and lunch as well. Once you know your own limitations you can begin to find help for when you are need it.

Finding Extra Help

As a teen, no one would expect you to devote your life to caring for a parent and you should not feel as though you need to do so either. Your ability to care for a parent is not linked to your love for that parent, so don’t feel guilty or as though you are letting your parent down simply because you are unable to attend to his or her every need. Talk over your situation with your parent’s doctors and therapists, your relatives and adult friends, adult members of your religious community, your teachers or even a school counsellor. These adults should be able to help you sort out plans for caring for your parent in the short term, or viable options regarding a parent’s care for the long term.

Knowing Your Limits

Not only is it important to understand the physical limits of how much you can do for a parent, but it is important to understand your emotional limits as well. As a teenager you are not supposed to be as mature and responsible as other adults, but you are meant to have free time to sort out your thoughts and feelings about many different subjects. Drawing up a list of activities that you enjoy doing and can do on your own, such as indulging in a bath, taking a walk, going to the gym or even letting all your cares go away and napping for a little while, is a great way of always having an idea on hand when you need one.

Caring for a parent isn’t easy at any age, but it can be extremely difficult for teens. Not only should teens bear in mind the physical limits of what they can do to help a parent, but the emotional limits as well.

Deal with Pocket Money Problem

2009-09-06T20:02:00.004+08:00

Teenagers, they will be more to outside influences to help them perpetuate their social lives. By the way, they will be more motivated to shipped-go with what is done by others such as smoking and drinking. If you are close to this age group and your jaw just dropped in amazement, whether from how much or how little this figure seems, understand that pocket money is generally a gift from your parents but that different parents attach different conditions to what it must be used for. To figure out how much pocket money you honestly need per week, read on to help you avoid pocket money problems later.

Assess Your Needs

In the past "pocket money" was a term that referred to fun money or money that was not required to pay for life's necessities. Today there seems to be a lot more necessities, so when determining how much pocket money you think you need be very clear about what your pocket money must pay for. Take into account:

Food and snacks.
Entertainment such as cinema tickets, DVD rentals, books and magazines.
Mobile phones and phone credit.
School supplies.
Public transport and other travel expenses.
Birthday and holiday presents.
Clothes and accessories.
Beauty and personal care items.
Savings.

Understand the Terms

When you have totalled up what you believe is a suitable amount for weekly pocket money, discuss this figure with your parents. Make sure that you are all clear about the terms of your pocket money, including:

What it must cover.
If it is being given freely or you if need to "work" for it by doing chores, keeping up your grades, etc.
If it can ever be withheld, such as for punishment or until you perform a certain chore.
If you will be able to reassess this figure or ask for a "pay rise" in the future.
If other money, such as birthday money or holiday money must be earmarked for certain expenses or put into savings.

Supplementing Your Pocket Money

If you consider your pocket money allowance too small, there may be ways to supplement this figure. Consider:

Taking on a steady part time job.
Taking on extra chores around the house.
Helping your parents with their work, such as by typing or running errands for them.
Tutoring other students.
Babysitting for family.
Asking your parents about joining a car boot sale, rummage sale or posting items on eBay or another online auction site.

Pocket money can be the bane of any teenager's existence. No matter how much you get, it never seems enough. Of course this is the point of pocket money, to teach you to budget and save and become responsible for your purchases. Prove to your parents that you are equal to the task and you just might be pleasantly surprised by the results!

No More Arguing: Responsive Listening for Parents

2009-09-06T19:14:00.004+08:00

Arguing with your parents is totally natural for teens. From your hairstyle to your friends your marks at school to your television habits, your future plans to your curfew, it might just seem like you argue with your parents about everything. While this is not generally a pleasant state of affairs, it is normal and it will most likely pass. In the meantime, remember to argue fairly, argue respectfully and argue only when needed. It might be hard to stay in control while arguing with parents, but it will certainly keep your relationship stronger than it would be otherwise.

Although a certain amount of arguing between parents and children is inevitable and natural, when arguing becomes the definer of parent-child interactions, harmony can be a memory quickly faded and replaced with animosity and resentment. Constant arguing leads to a parent not feeling overly appreciative of their child and undermines the child’s feeling of being taken seriously and respected by the parent. If the arguing becomes the main method of communication, the whole balance of parental authority can be eroded. Parent and child become adversaries. It’s not the way things are supposed to be.

Arguments lead to emotionality, loss of control, shouting matches. It seems that children tend to become argumentative at the most inconvenient times. The whining, the protests, the complaining, from the very children you spend half your life doing things for – are as much fun as black flies in the summer. Parents frequently describe the wheedling, the demandingness, the “me, me, me” mentality that triggers resentment. The battle of wills becomes exhausting.

Argue Fairly

Arguments between teens and parents generally come about when both parties believe that they know what is best for the teen. Parents have been caring for their teens for over a decade, but teens are quickly becoming adults and believe that they are able to take care of themselves. If you are a teen arguing with your parents, remember that your parents love you and only want what is best for you. If you must argue with them, argue fairly by:

Allowing each person involved in the argument to speak their mind.
Refusing to interrupt others when they are speaking.
Refusing to draw others in solely for support if they do not have a place in the argument.
Sticking only to the topic at hand. Bringing up past hurts or issues will not help anyone move forward.
Suggesting compromises that will show your parents that you have thought about the issue and are trying to sort things for yourself.

Argue Respectfully

No matter how heated things may get during an argument, try to remember that your parents still deserve your attention, respect and love. This may be hard when you’re facing a month full of Friday nights stuck at home or a week’s worth of laundry that you don’t think you should have to do, but in the end you’ll be glad that you always gave your parents the respect they deserve. During arguments, be respectful by:

Keeping your voice lowered at all timeS and refusing to shout.
Sitting still and staying calm.
Refusing to engage in angry actions such as ripping, kicking, throwing or hitting anything.
Rationally explaining the reasons for your opinions and making a case for your side of the story.
Staying until a solution has been worked out. Stalking away and slamming doors doesn’t help make any point other than that you are immature.

Argue Only When Needed

There is a thin line between having a discussion and engaging in an argument, but smart teens know that keeping their interactions with their parents at the discussion level practically guarantees that they will be taken more seriously. No one likes to argue, and the parents of teens can be especially weary of it, so keeping things on a serious and even keel will work to everyone’s advantage. Reserve your arguments for issues that you feel passionately about, and even then only descend into an argument if you see no other way to get your point across to your parents.

Arguing with parents is practically a hallmark of the teenaged years, but out of control arguments don’t serve anyone well. Teens who can remain calm, speak rationally and defend their points are the teens who will best preserve their relationships with their parents. Before arguing with your parents, decide what type of teen you want to be and what compromises you are willing to make in order to achieve your goals. You never know, you might just avoid an argument all together.

Knowing your teenage anger

2009-09-06T16:48:00.000+08:00

From getting up in the morning to coming home by curfew at night, today's teen faces many choices and issues. Parents can help their teen traverse this winding path of adolescence by learning about and having resources for these issues. Parents need to know everything about teens- even about things they didn't know they needed to know. Especially for dealing with adolescent anger

Teen anger takes many forms. It may be expressed as indignation and resentment, or rage and fury. It is the expression of teenage anger -- the behavior -- that we see. Some teens may repress their anger and withdraw; others may be more defiant and destroy property. They will continue their behavior, or it may escalate, until they decide to look within themselves to the roots of their anger. But teenage anger is a feeling, an emotion, not a behavior. And anger is usually caused by something going on in a teen's life.

Teen anger can be a frightening emotion, but it is not inherently harmful. Its negative expressions can include physical and verbal violence, prejudice, malicious gossip, antisocial behavior, sarcasm, addictions, withdrawal, and psychosomatic disorders. These negative expressions of teenage anger can devastate lives, destroying relationships, harming others, disrupting work, clouding effective thinking, affecting physical health, and ruining futures.

But, there is a positive aspect to such expression, as it can show others that a problem exists. Teenage anger is usually a secondary emotion brought on by fear. It can motivate us to resolve those things that are not working in our lives and help us face our issues and deal with the underlying reasons for the anger, specifically things such as:

Abuse
Depression
Anxiety
Grief
Alcohol or substance abuse
Trauma

Teenagers face a lot of emotional issues during this period of development. They're faced with questions of identity, separation, relationships, and purpose. The relationship between teens and their parents is also changing as teens become more and more independent. Parents often have a difficult time dealing with their teen's new-found independence.

This can bring about frustration and confusion that can lead to anger and a pattern of reactive behavior for both parents and teens. That is, teens are simply negatively reacting to their parent's behaviors, and parents react back in an equally negative manner. This sets up a self-reinforcing pattern of interaction. Unless we work to change our own behavior, we cannot help another change theirs. We need to respond rather than react to each other and to situations. The intention is not to deny the anger, but to control that emotion and find a way to express it in a productive or at least, a less harmful, manner.

Teenagers dealing with anger can ask these questions of themselves to help bring about greater self-awareness:

Where does this anger come from?
What situations bring out this feeling of anger?
Do my thoughts begin with absolutes such as "must," "should," "never?"
Are my expectations unreasonable?
What unresolved conflict am I facing?
Am I reacting to hurt, loss, or fear?
Am I aware of anger's physical signals (e.g., clenching fists, shortness of breath, sweating)?
How do I choose to express my anger?
To whom or what is my anger directed?
Am I using anger as a way to isolate myself, or as a way to intimidate others?
Am I communicating effectively?
Am I focusing on what has been done to me rather than what I can do?
How am I accountable for what I'm feeling?
How am I accountable for how my anger shows up?
Do my emotions control me, or do I control my emotions?

So what can teens and parents do? Listen to your teen and focus on feelings. Try to understand the situation from his or her perspective. Blaming and accusing only builds up more walls and ends all communication. Tell them how you feel, stick to facts, and deal with the present moment. Show that you care and show your love. Work towards a solution where everyone gets something, and therefore feels okay about the resolution. Remember that anger is the feeling and behavior is the choice.