Teenager Issue

So how do you go about earning the respect of other people? Well, you can do more and speak less. Those who talk a lot may get a lot of the attention, but do they really deserve all the attention that they get? The ones who come into work, and don't ask for anything other than the paycheck that they get are the ones that deserve to be respected. The people who know what they are doing, and don't try to show off all the time are the ones who earn respect.

If you think that you have earned the respect of the people around you and you don't think that you have gotten it, why not stand up for yourself? If you think that you have done enough to be respected, well then you have to step up and respect yourself first. If you don't respect yourself, and aren't proud of your own accomplishments then how do you think other people are going to feel about you? Being respected is all about carrying yourself with dignity.

Don't let people walk all over you. Just because you aren't a showboat doesn't mean that people can take your work for granted, or that you will just do what people tell you. You have to be able to make people remember what you are good for, and if you feel like you are being disrespected, don't take it, just walk away for a bit and see what happens. Do people not think that you are good enough to do your job anymore? Well take a week off, and then see how the office operates without you.

Lead by example, and let your work speak for itself. Don't feel the need to have to respond to criticism, and allow others to get into your head. If other people really could do the job that you could do, then they would be in the spot that you are in, and would be doing your job. Don't let the idle chatter of those who are jealous get in the way of you getting the respect you deserve. If you have to set someone straight, then go ahead and do so. Don't get pushed around, and let your work speak for itself, and you will get the respect that you want.

If you aren't getting the respect you feel like you deserve, you can always take your services elsewhere. Don't let your employer, or your co-workers take you for granted. It is up to you to earn the respect you feel you deserve, but if you aren't given it you can't be taken for granted either. You have to step up and take the respect that you feel you have earned, otherwise people might just walk all over you.

Whilst alcoholism in its truest form is normally the province of older people, there are an alarming number teenagers and even younger children who have alcohol issues.

It's a big issue in the press; the frequency and infamy of binge drinking amongst young people and the explosion of underage drinking makes appalling headlines. But the headlines only really show part of the issue.

Getting Wasted

Drinking irresponsibly like this is risky for anyone, but young people can find themselves at the mercy of all sorts of problems, including having their drinks spiked and them being raped, or to perhaps finding themselves getting arrested for throwing up in the street or fighting.

Getting Spiked

Both girls and boys are vulnerable and for various different reasons. Boys can find themselves getting beaten up, mugged or attacked when under the influence. And boys can also be drugged and raped too - it's not just girls at risk.

Showing Off

Accidents happen on the streets too; it's a fact is that eight out of 10 pedestrians knocked down and killed on Friday or Saturday nights are under the influence, wobbling about in the street, or roaring up and down in the road.

Unprotected Sex

Are you a Worried Parent?

The first thing to do it to remember is that a huge part of talking is listening. Don't lecture, but rather sit and explain the dangers of excessive drinking, and the positive aspects of having a healthy lifestyle, including keeping on top of excess weight! Remember to stay calm and to take the time to hear responses. It will make a big difference.

Teach by example. It's no good telling your children or teenagers that drinking is bad for them if you yourself are often drunk.

Stay up to date on information relating to the dangers of alcohol, including as the health effects, dangers of spiking, date rape, underage drinking and so on. You will enjoy more respect if you sound like you know what you're on about.

And be realistic. Teenagers have always experimented and drunk alcohol, whether it's from their parents cocktail cupboard, or by asking strangers to buy them cider in the local off license. And recognise peer pressure too. Help your child arm themselves with ways to say 'no' and still be cool, like 'it's too high in calories', 'It makes me sick' or even 'I don't like it'!

LEARNING TO LISTEN WITH YOUR "THIRD EAR"

There are always two parts to communication: content and process. Content refers to the words which are spoken, and ideas or feelings that are expressed. Process refers to that which is not said, or to that which is nonverbal--it's the hand gestures, the breathing, the posture and the facial expressions of your teen--it's reading that which is communicated "between the lines." Listen with your eyes as well as your ears; this is what refer to as listening with the third ear.

LEARNING TO LISTEN TO UNDERSTAND

Let your teen overcome his or her natural anxiety about sharing with you. Don't ask too many questions, especially questions that start with the word "why." Listen to understand your teen's feeling or viewpoint, and without ridiculing or refuting. Try not to plan your rebuttal, or your agenda for "setting him straight," while you listen. The teen may well need to be set straight--but not while you are trying to listen. If all a parent wants to do is set the teen straight, it will be most apparent--and an effective conclusion to your teen's willingness to talk with you. Remind yourself: all I am supposed to do right now is make sure that I understand what she is saying.

LEARNING TO CONFIRM YOUR UNDERSTANDING

While your teen talks, nod your head, utter an occasional "umm", or raise your eyebrow periodically. This lets your teen know that you are, indeed, listening. After a few sentences or paragraphs, interrupt and say, "Let me see if I understand what you're saying." Restate what you believe you have heard, and allow the teen to clarify if you have misunderstood something. Up to this point, do not agree or disagree. It is enough to let your teen know that you respect her enough to really listen carefully--carefully enough to really understand.

COMMUNICATING WITH YOUR TEEN--BASIC GUIDELINES

When is the "best time" to try to talk with my teen?

Generally, talking is going to be easier when it is your teen's idea. If necessary stop what you are doing and listen without distraction. Don't try to "listen" while doing something else. It is difficult to enthusiastically communicate against one's wishes. Timing is particularly important when the subject is touchy. Let your teen know that you want or expect to talk, but that you are willing to do so later if it facilitates communication.