Teenager Issue

Arguing with your parents is totally natural for teens. From your hairstyle to your friends your marks at school to your television habits, your future plans to your curfew, it might just seem like you argue with your parents about everything. While this is not generally a pleasant state of affairs, it is normal and it will most likely pass. In the meantime, remember to argue fairly, argue respectfully and argue only when needed. It might be hard to stay in control while arguing with parents, but it will certainly keep your relationship stronger than it would be otherwise.

Although a certain amount of arguing between parents and children is inevitable and natural, when arguing becomes the definer of parent-child interactions, harmony can be a memory quickly faded and replaced with animosity and resentment. Constant arguing leads to a parent not feeling overly appreciative of their child and undermines the child’s feeling of being taken seriously and respected by the parent. If the arguing becomes the main method of communication, the whole balance of parental authority can be eroded. Parent and child become adversaries. It’s not the way things are supposed to be.

Arguments lead to emotionality, loss of control, shouting matches. It seems that children tend to become argumentative at the most inconvenient times. The whining, the protests, the complaining, from the very children you spend half your life doing things for – are as much fun as black flies in the summer. Parents frequently describe the wheedling, the demandingness, the “me, me, me” mentality that triggers resentment. The battle of wills becomes exhausting.

Argue Fairly

• Allowing each person involved in the argument to speak their mind.
• Refusing to interrupt others when they are speaking.
• Refusing to draw others in solely for support if they do not have a place in the argument.
• Sticking only to the topic at hand. Bringing up past hurts or issues will not help anyone move forward.
• Suggesting compromises that will show your parents that you have thought about the issue and are trying to sort things for yourself.

Argue Respectfully

• Keeping your voice lowered at all timeS and refusing to shout.
• Sitting still and staying calm.
• Refusing to engage in angry actions such as ripping, kicking, throwing or hitting anything.
• Rationally explaining the reasons for your opinions and making a case for your side of the story.
• Staying until a solution has been worked out. Stalking away and slamming doors doesn’t help make any point other than that you are immature.

Argue Only When Needed

Arguing with parents is practically a hallmark of the teenaged years, but out of control arguments don’t serve anyone well. Teens who can remain calm, speak rationally and defend their points are the teens who will best preserve their relationships with their parents. Before arguing with your parents, decide what type of teen you want to be and what compromises you are willing to make in order to achieve your goals. You never know, you might just avoid an argument all together.