Teenager Issue

From the time people are quite young, peers influence what they do. During adolescence, that process, known as peer pressure, heightens. Fellow classmates, friends, and members of organizations, groups and teams have far greater influence on what teens think and how they act. They influence how teens feel about controlling their weight and their level of fitness; they affect whether teens take drugs or drink and drive. Of course, peer pressure does not magically disappear when one turns twenty. Many adults are influenced by what their peers say and do. But peer pressure does seem to be strongest during the teen years, and it may have longtime, significant consequences.

Peer pressure may be quite positive. Peers may encourage their fellow teens to study, work hard, be nice to their siblings and other relatives, and help their parents around the house. If a teen’s peers tend to hold outside jobs and do well in school, there is a good chance that the teen will also follow that pattern. Peers may even encourage their fellow teens to exercise more frequently, try out for sports or a theater production, attend religious services or faith-based activities, and dress neatly. If a teen’s peers do not smoke and they stay away from drinking and drugs, there is a good chance that the teen will do the same. Teens who are not sexually active often have peers who are similarly deferring sexual activity. Not surprisingly, goal oriented teens, who plan to attend college or learn a specific skill or trade, gravitate to other teens with similar aspirations.

But peer pressure is also known to be negative. If a teen’s peers are skipping classes, hanging out in gangs, smoking and taking drugs, and having sex—especially promiscuous sex—the teen may be drawn into those behaviors. In fact, some teens become sexually active because they believe it will increase their status among their peers. Peers can persuade their fellow teens that they should carry knives and guns, and they may draw teens into criminal behaviors such as shoplifting and robbery. People who have trouble with the law tend to have peer relationships with others who test the legal system. Even suicides and attempted suicides are known to place peers at greater risk for copycat suicides. It should be evident that teens should pick their peers with a great deal of care.

Why is peer pressure so strong during the teen years? Teens are still trying to determine where they belong. This searching occurs both within and outside their own families. At the same time, teens do not want to appear different; they hope to fit in with other teens and belong to a group.

Though positive peer pressure is to be supported, teens should attempt to reduce the influence of negative peer pressure. Teens should be aware of some of the signs of negative peer pressure such as temptations, taunts and threats. A peer may describe how wonderful he feels when he is high on a certain drug or how much fun he had at a party where there was no parental supervision and just about everyone was drunk. That teen is attempting to entice another teen to follow a similar path. There may be taunts for not participating in certain behaviors, implying that someone is childish or influenced too strongly by parents. Or, there may be threats. For example, a teen might note that unless another teen is willing to share answers to a test or engage in some other form of deception, the friendship is over.

Before they spend time with peers who may exert negative pressure, teens should consider the risks. Are the teens asking their friend to join them for an afternoon of shopping at the mall or do they have another purpose such as shoplifting? Shoplifting is stealing and against the law. Stores prosecute shoplifters. Will the party peers want their friend to attend have no parental supervision? Will there be drinking? Drugs? All of these may have negatives consequences, and, if the police become involved, could impact a teen’s life now and in the future.

Instead of being drawn into negative peer pressure, a teen should think of alternative activities that he enjoys. Rather than attending a party that may have dangerous activity, he should have dinner with a few friends and see a movie. What should a teen do if he is already at a party and friends pressure him to do something he shouldn’t? In general, it is best to leave the party. But, if that is not an option, a teen should try to ignore the offer. If that doesn’t work, he should think of an excuse or make a joke. Other options include changing the subject or countering the challenge. It may be desirable to suggest that true friends don’t put such pressure on their friends. Teens might want to teach themselves to be assertive and practice role play in advance. Avoiding an argument is also a good idea. It is best not to let the situation turn acrimonious or become physically violent. Sometimes, a teen should simply walk away. Teens need to learn to be comfortable when they stand up for what they believe, especially when confronted with negative peer pressure. When something seems to be wrong, it usually is. So, teens should listen to their instincts. And, they must not be afraid to lose a negative friendship. If a peer is trying to steer a teen in a negative course, that is a friend the teen should not have.

Though parents heavily influence the early years, as a child becomes a teen, they repeatedly turn to their friends for advice. But that does not means that the parents should not play a role. It is important for teens to continue open communication with their parents. Teens should recall that their peers have limited lifetime experience. On the other hand, their parents are able to draw on many extra years of know-how. When appropriate, teens should factor in their parents’ input. This is most imperative when confronted with serious decisions and stressors of life. Teens may be surprised at how helpful and instructive their parents may be. And, parents will be pleased that their teens are turning to them for guidance and assistance.