Teenager Issue

Whenever you ask a troubled teen as to what is their problem with their parent, more often than not you will get to hear that they are ‘not really being listened to’. Well, ‘listening’ is a tad difficult task for parents. They might also find ‘communication’ challenging. While parenting teens there are certain common measures that can ensure satisfactory results when intelligently applied.
Whenever your teen approaches you for a conversation or simply speaks to you provide them with your undivided attention. You don’t need to display your expertise in multi-tasking at that moment. Stop reading, watching TV or acting busy as you are listening to your child. Misbehavior starts the moment they begin to feel that they are not worthy of your attention.

As you listen, your attitude should be calm even if there is a major difference of opinion. Try to hear out with the intent of understanding the teenager’s point of view. If the situation calls for a ‘give and take’ approach, do not burden up your teen’s mind with preaches.

When you are parenting a troubled teen, your tone ought to be courteous as you communicate. Remember that respect inevitably cultivates respect and that is completely manifested in the manner of speech. While communicating you should keep in mind that you are communicating with an individual who happens to be your teenage child. Your positive approach will help to make the troubled teen to seek you out as his dear confidant. So a sober tone always pays dividends with an improved relationship while abruptness or gruffness will only induce further hostility.

As you try to make your communication effective, avoid judging the nature of your teen’s behavior at that moment. You may not approve it but at that moment emphasize more on the feelings involved. While parenting teens you surely need to be firm regarding the essential values but you should be flexible enough to accommodate the symbolism of the changing times.

Free expression of ideas and feelings should be permitted. Everything that happens to be our part of life is being gradually apprehended by the children during their teenage. This must be realized. While parenting teens you must also understand that the teens tend to ‘test’ their ideas regarding education, morality, money, time and marriage or relationships during communication. Even if you happen to be alarmed by their opinion, you should give them a patient hearing. Then the mutual love and respect that you have cultivated will help you to put your point in a non-aggressive and logical and plain manner.